Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Megyn Kelly Today, Today: 'Is This Safe?'

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Welcome to Megyn Kelly Today, Today, a new daily column in which we will share the most memorable things that happened on Megyn Kelly Today every morning until we are no longer able to watch Megyn Kelly Today without feeling like there will be no tomorrow.

  • Megyn Kelly walked onstage in a black and white dress.
  • Megyn Kelly opened the show with news about Harvey Weinstein.
  • Megyn Kelly welcomed Ari Melber to the stage to discuss Harvey Weinstein.
  • Ari Melber discussed Harvey Weinstein.
  • Megyn Kelly discussed Harvey Weinstein.
  • Once again, Megyn Kelly didn’t mention her former bosses at Fox News. (Perhaps that’s a contractual thing.)
  • Megyn Kelly delivered this segue, “Okay, in much more pleasant news, we wanna tell you about a big sighting of a little bump in the UK.”
  • Ari Melber stayed onstage as Megyn Kelly talked about Duchess Kate’s baby bump with that British correspondent.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “I see no bump...maybe a little too much egg in the morning.”
  • The audience laughed for some reason.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “It’s nice to have a little good news, isn’t it?...Up next after the break, why do women pay more for their shampoo than their male counterparts?”
  • Bobby Finger thought, “Guess we’ve pivoted back to bad news!”
  • Megyn Kelly welcomed Jeff Rossen, Today’s National Investigative Correspondent, to the stage to promote his new book. The second moment of book-related network synergy of the week, after Monday’s Savannah Guthrie children’s book!
  • After briefly discussing the California wildfires, Megyn Kelly and Jeff Rossen discussed the “pink tax.”
  • Jeff Rosen explained that men pay less for dry cleaning than women, which Megyn immediately understood. Jeff Rosen said, “You’re very very smart Megyn. You should have your own show.”
  • Megyn Kelly was confused by that.
  • Bobby Finger was confused by that.
  • Jeff Rosen explained that expensive coffee is not worth the price. “It’s all marketing,” he said.
  • Megyn Kelly and two audience members participated in a blind taste test to choose their favorite coffee. Surprise! They all chose the cheap $1 coffee.
  • Megyn Kelly explained that she likes cheap $1 deli coffee because the cashiers are polite and call her dear.
  • Megyn Kelly introduced the first human-interest story of the day, about a man who lost a good deal of weight and became healthier by switching to a plant-based diet and adopting a rescue dog named Peety.
  • Eric O’Grey came to the stage with his dog, whose name I missed, to promote his book Walking With Peety.
  • Megyn Kelly cut to commercial immediately.
  • Megyn Kelly began speaking with Eric O’Grey, his wife, and their new dog, who barked.
  • Eric O’Grey’s new dog kept barking.
  • Eric O’Grey revealed that Peety died while he sang “John Lennon songs” to him.
  • Eric O’Grey said the new dog’s name. It’s Jake!
  • Bobby Finger nearly passed out from boredom.
  • Jake barked some more.
  • Megyn Kelly, “It’s incredible, and a reminder to all of us that it is possible to change your life.”
  • Jake barked some more, presumably because he could smell the bullshit.
  • Megyn Kelly pet Jake.
  • Eric O’Grey told the audience to rescue dogs from a shelter.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Coming up in just a minute, a man who will make you re-think the word ‘impossible.’ He’s about to run a month of marathons, one every day...”
  • Bobby Finger said, “I dare him to write about Megyn Kelly Today every morning.”
  • Megyn Kelly told us about a man named Rob Jones, a veteran who plans to run 31 marathons in one month—on two prosthetic legs.
  • The Clip of the Day happened.
  • Megyn Kelly promoted as a way to donate to his cause—charities for wounded veterans.
  • Megyn Kelly introduced the third human interest story in a row—about the owner of American Hats, owned by Georgiette Morgan-Thomas.
  • Bobby Finger thought, “Why does this seem familiar?”
  • Bobby Finger remembered this.
  • Georgiette, 68, is all about giving jobs to people who need them—especially the formerly incarcerated.
  • Georgiette revealed she used her retirement money to start the hat company.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “And they’re all made in America.”
  • The audience applauded.
  • Megyn Kelly tried on a hat that I would honestly wear.
  • Megyn Kelly returned from commercial, still wearing that hat.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “I’m keepin’ the hat, obviously.”
  • Megyn Kelly spoke with Hoda and Kathie Lee, whose ratings are reportedly dropping because of Megyn Kelly Today!
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Tomorrow on the show, actress and children’s book author Isla Fisher!”
  • Bobby Finger said, “Isla Fisher is a children’s book author?”
  • Megyn Kelly Today ended.

Clip of the Day: Is This Safe?