Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Megyn Kelly Today, Today: A Very Strange Interview With Suzanne Somers About Sex and Bubble Wrap

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Welcome to Megyn Kelly Today, Today, a daily column in which we will share the most memorable things that happened on Megyn Kelly Today every morning until we are no longer able to watch Megyn Kelly Today without feeling like there will be no tomorrow.

  • Megyn Kelly walked onstage in a tan dress.
  • Megyn Kelly said identical twins were going to meet for the first time on her stage.
  • Megyn Kelly discussed a hazing case at Penn State.
  • Megyn Kelly welcomed Centre County, PA DA Stacy Parks Miller to discuss the case, which involves evidence tampering.
  • Megyn Kelly returned with a story on the new Elizabeth Smart movie (made with Elizabeth Smart’s involvement) I Am Elizabeth Smart.
  • Megyn Kelly welcomed Elizabeth Smart to the stage.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “I watched the whole thing and it completely changed the way I viewed your story.”
  • Elizabeth Smart said, “I wanted to be an answer for so many victims who are questioned, ‘Why didn’t you run? Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you speak out sooner?’ It’s not because any one of us enjoys being hurt. It’s not because any one of us enjoys being raped or kidnapped. It’s because we can’t. We do everything we can to survive.”
  • Bobby Finger said, “Elizabeth Smart is amazing!”
  • Elizabeth Smart was so eloquent and thoughtful and kept saying the most insightful, inspiring things about her kidnapping that made Bobby Finger shake his head in astonishment.
  • Megyn Kelly thanked Elizabeth Smart for “sharing her story” and cut to commercial.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Coming up, what if you knew that you were about to meet your identical twin, in person, for the very first time? It is about to happen to my next guests, live, right after the break in this studio!”
  • Megyn Kelly returned and teased “the ultimate family reunion” between women named Katie Bennett and Amanda Dunford who were separated at birth and found each other on 23 and Me when they were 33.
  • Bobby Finger said, “I think this might be paid promo?”
  • Bobby Finger said, “Is this a 23 and Me ad?!?!?!”
  • Megyn Kelly rolled tape of Katie Bennett and Amanda Dunford’s story.
  • Megyn Kelly welcomed Katie Bennett to the stage and said Amanda Dunford was behind some door.
  • Megyn Kelly cut to commercial before letting those two meet.
  • Bobby Finger screamed.
  • Megyn Kelly returned and said, “This is incredibly exciting!”
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Amanda, please come say hello to your identical twin sister!”
  • Amanda Dunford and Katie Bennett met, hugged, laughed, said, “Oh my god!”
  • Megyn Kelly said, “I’m feeling emotional! Was that emotional?!”
  • Megyn Kelly said, “You haven’t been next to each other since birth!”
  • Megyn Kelly interviewed Amanda Dunford and Katie Bennett.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Did you ever have the thing, where it’s like, ‘I just feel like I have a twin.’”
  • Katie Bennett said, yes, she has had that thing.
  • Megyn Kelly referenced 23 and Me and called it “an amazing service.”
  • Bobby Finger said, “COME ON.”
  • Amanda Dunford and Katie Bennett said they coincidentally have the same obsession with getting exactly three paper towels when in a public restroom.
  • Amanda Dunford and Katie Bennett revealed that they both celebrate different birthdays and don’t know their actual DOBs.
  • Amanda Dunford said, “It’s really exciting.”
  • Megyn Kelly said, “For me too!”
  • The audience applauded.
  • Megyn Kelly thanked them for coming, then thanked 23 and Me for FLYING THEM TO NEW YORK CITY TO BE THERE.
  • Bobby Finger pursed his lips, filed his nails, nodded, and whispered, “I fuckin’ knew it.”
  • Megyn Kelly cut to commercial.
  • Megyn Kelly returned with the story of Rob Jones, the vet with two prosthetic legs who ran who we met last month on the show (he had an audio delay) who has run 31 marathons in one month.
  • Megyn Kelly rolled tape of her speaking with Rob Jones yesterday.
  • Bobby Finger realized that his segment was probably cut because of Joe Biden’s appearance.
  • Rob Jones talked about his experience, and said the only injury he had was in Nashville.
  • Rob Jones revealed that he raised $150,000 for wounded veterans.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Was there any day when you thought, ‘I can’t.’”
  • Rob Jones said, “Nope.”
  • Megyn Kelly thanked Rob Jones for coming, promoted the website where you can donate, and cut to commercial.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Up next, actress and entrepreneur Suzanne Somers on keeping her marriage strong and steamy after 50 years! What does it have to do with bubble wrap?”
  • Bobby Finger screamed, “I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE BUBBLE WRAP.”
  • Megyn Kelly welcomed Suzanne Somers and husband Alan Hamel to the stage.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Somers’s 26th book Two’s Company is her most personal yet.”
  • Bobby Finger screamed, “SUZANNE SOMERS HAS WRITTEN 26 BOOKS?”
  • Megyn Kelly asked about the bubble wrap.
  • Suzanne Somers said the first time she and Alan Hamel had sex was on a pile of bubble wrap.
  • Bobby Finger said, “What?”
  • Suzanne Somers said she and Alan Hamel fuck every day.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Oh my god, I hope Doug is not watching!”
  • Suzanne Somers said, “Sometimes I’m not awake for it though.”
  • The audience laughed?!?!?!?
  • Megyn Kelly laughed?!?!?!?
  • Megyn Kelly said, “Alan’s like, ‘Those are some of the best times!’”
  • Alan Hamel smiled and said, “That’s fine with me!”
  • Megyn Kelly laughed and said, “It doesn’t matter!”
  • Bobby Finger rewound Megyn Kelly Today and watched that part again.
  • Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers spoke about how Suzanne Somers lost her job after asking for equal pay on Three’s Company.
  • Alan Hamel revealed that the first woman in network TV who asked for equal pay after her was Roseanne Barr.
  • Megyn Kelly said, “I know you don’t like the term feminist—I’m not huge on the term feminist—but you were a feminist trailblazer.”
  • Megyn Kelly thanked Suzanne Somers and Alan Hamel for coming and cut to commercial.
  • Hoda and Kathie Lee’s show suddenly began.
  • Bobby Finger realized that Megyn Kelly Today had unceremoniously ended without pushing to

Clip of the Day: What the Fuck, Suze?

Suzanne Somers Bubble Wrap