Meghan McCain Is Canceled

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Year in Review 2019Year in Review 2019Remembering the year that you, me, and everyone we know was canceled. Rest in peace

Here’s why Meghan McCain should be canceled. Follow Jezebel’s Cancel Tournament to see what ultimately gets canceled

Meghan McCain is dead (to us). She has been canceled, effective immediately.

McCain was born in 1984 to Senator John McCain and his wife Cindy. McCain, of course, continued to view her parentage as her single greatest accomplishment for the entirety of her life as a non-canceled person. I guess it was all downhill from there.

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Although McCain has arguably always been worthy of canceling, her case was truly cemented during her two years as a co-host of The View. As the table’s token conservative, she sparred with her colleagues regularly on a broad range of issues. Anything from Brett Kavanaugh to abortion to “Baby Shark” was fair game.

She will be remembered for her impressive ability to make literally everything about her. From the suffering of migrant children, to candidates speaking Spanish at the democratic presidential debates, to President Trump’s racist comments about Congresswoman Ilhan Omar; McCain was never shy about reminding her audience that she was the real victim.

McCain’s favorite pastimes included shooting guns, collecting taxidermy, and getting into fights on Twitter. She was also mother to several cacti, a plant she loved because it required minimal care from her to stay alive.

In the end, perhaps McCain is also like a cactus. When you see one in the desert, covered in spikes, you think it’s probably best not to approach. But then some people go ahead and decide to bring a cactus into their home anyway, and while caring for it, inevitably accidentally injure themselves on the cactus’s spikes. The spikes have always been there, but you chose to ignore the signs and now the cactus has a $1 million daytime TV contract.

At the time of cancelation, she was surrounded by her loved ones; Joe Biden, Monet X Change and Nina West, Jamie Lee Curtis, an AR-15, and a mirror.

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She is survived by her View co-hosts Sunny Hostin, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, and Abby Huntsman. In lieu of a memorial service, ABC will offer McCain a spot on the next season of Dancing With the Stars.

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