Meghan Markle has fled the royal palace. Camped out on Vancouver Island with son Archie, she awaits the arrival of her betrothed so the two can finally begin their new lives as influencers and rich charity donors—perhaps even wellness bloggers! The Queen, exerting her last drops of strength to keep Prince Harry in the U.K., held a summit in Sandringham yesterday, where she expected Markle to phone in from Canada. The summit has now concluded, and the palace has issued a statement: “In the end, the Sussexes decided that it wasn’t necessary for the Duchess to join.” Seems like she’d rather everyone just text her the plans, like everyone else on the planet.
I mean, when was the last time you called someone to walk them through your social plans for the evening? Who was the last person you spoke to via phone for anything other than work or business-related reasons? Why, in fact, would anyone want to own a phone at all, especially since they sometimes ring? The answer eludes me, but it’s heartening to know that Markle feels the same way. Like a rational adult, she skipped the Sandringham summit because the information disclosed would be much more effectively communicated via group chat.
Plus, it’s economical—phones use electricity, and international calls can be expensive. If the Sussexes hope to survive on what meager funds they still have, international cell phone rates seem like an unnecessary expenditure. Also, I bet the queen doesn’t own or operate an iPhone—she just seems like an Android user—so the cheaper alternative Facetime is also off the table.
All things considered, Markle made the sensible choice to sit the charade out. And besides, Kate Middleton didn’t take a break from promoting big fancy hats or shaking people’s hands in a floral wrap dress to attend the summit either. Seems like a double standard! [People]
Big week for exes! First, Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid were spotted cozying up all over New York City. Elsewhere in Los Angeles, Channing Tatum and Jessie J were photographed at a Restoration Hardware this week, shopping for some “furniture and “trying to be lowkey.”
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An anonymous source tells E! News: “They were both dressed down in sweats and trying to be low-key. No PDA but both were in great moods and together the whole time while giving their opinions on different items.” What do you think had them in such a great mood? Certainly not the rumors surrounding their breakup, which she has fiercely fought back against on Instagram. Maybe they saw a really good sofa then? Or a deal on some dangly things that look like a chandelier? Or maybe some really good coasters for the new barnwood table they purchased. At Restoration Hardware, the options are literally endless! (And also extremely expensive.)
Regardless, neither Tatum or Jessie J have formally commented about their post-breakup relationship. I’m sure they’ll be fine! [Just Jared]
Here are some photos Zach Braff probably took of Florence Pugh.
- January Jones actually did date that Bachelor man. [People]
- Sources claim Gabby Huntsman was “treated like shit” while at The View. [Page Six]
- Denise Richards is still sitting out RHOBH filming after rumors of affair with Brandi Glanville continue to orbit the cast. [Hollywood Life]
- Jessica Biel is allegedly still angry with that demon she’s married too. [Us Weekly]
- Fuck Vince Vaughn! [TMZ]
- Selena Gomez wore something. [Hollywood Life]
- Jeff Lewis, afraid of irrelevancy, apologizes for something. [People]