The young royals at Christmas. Photo: Getty Images.

As preparations for the royal wedding kick into overdrive, let’s not lose sight of perhaps the most entertaining aspect of this spectacle: the associated business opportunities, which above all else are very, very extra.

The New York Times surveys the landscape of cash-ins. First and foremost—obviously—come the housewares. Think mugs, tea cups, tea towels, trays, plates, etc. The Royal Collection Trust will naturally be producing their own, official range of china. Ceramics manufacturer Emma Bridgewater quickly brought out a limited edition mug (roughly $27) announcing “Harry & Meghan are engaged” with the date; all thousand of them sold out within 24 hours. Royal Crown Derby went to work four months before the official engagement announcement and has multiple designs in the works, as well as international schemes:

As royal fever grows, the company plans to hire an additional 10 to 15 people. It is also hoping to tap into heightened interest in the United States — Ms. Markle is American — to push its products in places like Bloomingdale’s and Bergdorf Goodman.

Congrats to anyone compelled by ties of affection to buy me a birthday gift.

If you don’t need anything else to dust and you are more of an experiential millennial type, there are the tour opportunities. For instance: “Olivia Basic, a tour planner at the company, said the themed tours for Prince Harry and Ms. Markle could include upscale nightclubs where the prince—known in his earlier years for partying heavily—has been spotted.”

However, the article sadly neglects iconic merchandising opportunities such as shortbread tins, which will clutter up American antique malls for decades to come. Really, if anything, the article understates how bonkers this is going to get. Please, if you live in the United Kingdom or plan to travel there in the coming months, send us photos of the most ridiculous swag you set your eyes upon.