Hey, your husbands went to Iceland!
Kidding, of course. (Theyâre at the Bellagio.) But it is true that Icelandic children are preparing for their annual visit from the âYule Lads,â that is, â13 mischievous troll brothersâ with names like âDoor-Slammer, Window-Peeper, Meat-Hook, Candle-Stealerâreflecting their preferred method of pranks or criminal behavior. But they claim to be mostly rehabilitated,â according to the AP. They arrive 13 days before Christmas, wandering down from the mountains, having grudgingly submitted to their annual bath.
They are in fact the gentlest members of their family, which also includes âtheir evil mother, Gryla, said to be a 600-year-old woman who eats children,â and âan innocently named âChristmas Cat,â a giant feline with the habit of eating children.â
âYou find a number of parents saying that we have to tone Gryla and her family down a bit,â University of Iceland folklore professor Terry Gunnell told the AP. âBut that would take away some the genuine Icelandic Christmas which is a dark time when days pass with only few hours of sunlight.â
Throw American Christmas into the trash, because itâs tinsel-dusted garbage. Toss that surveillance state mascot Elf on the Shelf into the fire and delete every Hallmark Christmas movie. Weâre pivoting to goth-ass Icelandic Christmas. Gryla, come on over, and bring your large yule sons with you.