In a statement read this morning on Today by his former co-worker Savannah Guthrie, Matt Lauer revealed that he—like Skeet Ulrich before him—is “truly sorry” for his alleged behavior—which, in case you’re not keeping track, includes a story about him locking a woman coworker in his office, sexually assaulting her, and then sending her to a nurse after she passed out.
His outing as a powerful sexual predator and all-around Bad Man has followed the achingly familiar template outlined by our own Kelly Stout last week, right down to the apology, which reads:
“There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions. To the people I have hurt, I am truly sorry. As I am writing this I realize the depth of the damage and disappointment I have left behind at home and at NBC.
Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized, but there is enough truth in these stories to make me feel embarrassed and ashamed. I regret that my shame is now shared by the people I cherish dearly.
Repairing the damage will take a lot of time and soul searching and I’m committed to beginning that effort. It is now my full time job. The last two days have forced me to take a very hard look at my own troubling flaws. It’s been humbling. I am blessed to be surrounded by the people I love. I thank them for their patience and grace.
Look, I can’t imagine anything someone could say after assaulting at least one woman—and using their power to intimidate, coerce, and humiliate others—that would satisfy me. But I’ve gotta say that had Matt Lauer appeared in person on this morning’s episode of Today, put the microphone to his butt, and released a volcanic, rectum-wrecking fart, it probably wouldn’t have elicited a better reaction than these 161 words.
In case you couldn’t bring yourself to read it in full, let me give you the CliffsNotes version of how it ultimately came off:
Even though some of the women were lying, I’m both sorry and embarrassed now that I’ve been caught. But please don’t worry about my own wellbeing, because I was overpaid for the bulk of my career, and now have the privilege to hide in one of my many isolated homes for the foreseeable future. Turns out, I have flaws! Who knew. Anyway, it feels good to be #blessed.
Give Hoda and Al the keys to Studio 1A and send everyone else home.
Meanwhile, here’s a dispatch from last night’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree lighting. Via Page Six:
“Nobody did interviews,” said a source at the annual event, “Savannah [Gutherie] and Hoda [Kotb] kept to themselves and chatted. [NBC Nightly News anchor] Lester Holt was not there long.”
Looks like the Christmas Spirit is staying home this season.
- Nothing about “from ‘NSYNC to Woody Allen” is good. [People]
- In case you haven’t bought Prince George a gift yet... [Just Jared]
- Here’s some dumb Armie Hammer shit. [Celebitchy]
- And the spigot remains open. [E! Online]