Market Basket Grocery Chain Says Their Stores Are Ghost-Free (As Far As They Know)

“Excuse me, where is the frozen sweet corn?”
“Excuse me, where is the frozen sweet corn?”
Image: Getty

After a reported sighting of a specter in the vicinity of the frozen peas, a spokesperson for the New England grocery chain Market Basket has been forced to issue a statement that their stores are, as far as they know, ghost-free.


As far as they know????

The Boston Globe reported that the sighting was caught in that extremely reliable and utterly troll-proof 21st century replacement for the local paper—a private Facebook group for Wilmington, Massachusetts. “This is going to sound really really strange,” somebody posted, always a promising beginning. “But has anyone seen a ghost in the Wilmington market basket?”

Specifically: “an old Victorian era woman in her nightgown ... near the frozen peas.” Unsurprisingly, the claim quickly made it to a local Wilmington publication and from there spread across the internet.

“As far as we know all of our stores are ghost-free,” a spokesperson told the Globe. “But if there’s anything to it, she’s probably attracted to our Victorian-era prices.” More likely she’s been brought back from the dead by the wonder of flash-frozen vegetables which are a true wonder of the modern age that we don’t discuss enough.

And frankly, “as far as we know” leaves Market Basket with entirely too much room to maneuver.

Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel


Witch Tornado

Ridiculous. No Victorian woman would do her grocery shopping in her nightgown.