Mariah Carey: Trench Warfare

Illustration for article titled Mariah Carey: Trench Warfare

[Los Angeles, February 4. Image via Flynet]


Erin Gloria Ryan

I refuse to believe that this is actually Mariah and not Mariah's doppelganger because

1- Where are the sparkles?

2- Where are her boobs? The tops, sides, or in between areas are not showing.

3- Why is that coat more than 2 inches away from revealing her glittery vagina?

4- Where is the pink?

5- Why isn't she making head-turned-to-side sexyface?

6- Why do I sort of love her here?