Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Mariah Carey Deserves an EGOT For This Scene With Bryan Tanaka

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Fans of Mariah Carey have pointed out how fake this teaser for the finale of Mariah’s World looks. But I’m not sure why they think that.

Personally, I like to have a soft, melodramatic soundtrack—my own song, of course—playing in the background whenever I’m caught in an intimate moment with a potential lover out in the open and have it shot from a hiding-in-the-bushes paparazzi camera angle. Truly, this conversation between Mariah and choreographer/dancer Bryan Tanaka is the stuff of real life. A better scene could not be scripted:

[Sparse emotional keys and strings] 

Bryan: Are you really gonna marry this guy?

Mariah: [Heavy sigh]

[Longing stares]

Bryan: It’s just... Just wondering.

Mariah: I don’t even know what I think anymore.

Bryan: Me either.

Mariah: Well. I think you have a different set of, um, issues than me, so. I mean, it’s nice of you to try to make me feel good and stuff.

Bryan: That’s all I want. [Pause] I just want you to be happy.

Mariah: Sometimes maybe people aren’t supposed to be happy. They’re just supposed to, like, exist and...

Bryan: Nah, I think everybody should be happy.

Mariah: I don’t really know what, uh, what that means.

Bryan: Hm.

Mariah: I have an idea. But then, I don’t want it to be weird with us. So everybody’s...probably looking in.

[Sprinklers conveniently come on]

Bryan: Yeah, yeah, we should probably...

Mariah: Look, the sprinklers are comin’ on.

Bryan: Right.

Mariah: They’re just gonna... [laugh]

[Bryan kisses Mariah’s hand]

Mariah: You make me smile.

And....scene. This is a moment. Give Mariah the entire EGOT.