It’s another beautiful day in Jezebel’s March Madness: Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse, where the competition is fierce and death looms ever closer.
Today we’re finishing up Round Two, and what an exciting round it has been, folks! The athleticism, the teamwork I’ve seen—it really brings me to tears. Let’s take a look at the results so far:
Birth Control (1) continues to smash the competition left and right, beating the heck out of Chopped Salads (8) with 92 percent of the vote. Say goodbye to your whale friends, cause Bees (4) took a healthy lead over An Ocean With Fish In It (12), while Pets (11) totally trashed Anti-Depressants (3) with over 80 percent of the vote. 70 Degree Days (2) beat Iced Coffee (7) by a lot, sorry to my java freaks, while Wellness (16) continues to slip through with a huge lead over Postmates (9), a seed that sadly just never had the name recognition. No offense to Jeff Bezos but Indoor Plumbing (12) absolutely tore Alexa (4) apart with 99 percent of the vote, and the battle between Online Shopping (11) and Sephora (3), which I erroneously described as “an impossible choice,” ended in an overwhelming and frankly devastating defeat for Sephora, where I will be making a very short pit stop after work. Finally, Automatic Bill Pay (10) has defeated Tinder (2) with a full 88 percent of the vote, because everyone’s priorities are evidently very much in check.
Onward!
