Man Posts Evidence of Bride's Lost Virginity To Facebook, World Retches

Illustration for article titled Man Posts Evidence of Brides Lost Virginity To Facebook, World Retches

Few things have greater potential to be irritating than post-wedding Facebook posts from newlyweds, but it looks like one dude has really taken things to an unprecedented level, posting an image of bloodied sheets and proudly telling the whole world that he and his new wife had just had awkward, hymen shredding sex. Mazel vom.

Someone alerted the STFU Believers Tumblr that one of their Facebook friends, a hyperconservative virginity fetishizer, natch, had recently gotten married to a woman who was pure as the driven snow. Naturally, in this age of oversharing, posting a picture of bloodied sheets was the next evolutionary step in never having any secrets ever.

I'd like to invite this man to my first ever colonoscopy. It's going to be really special.


First they came with wall relationship drama, and I did not speak up, because I love the drama of others. Then they came with pictures of those 3D ultrasounds, I did not complain, because I thought the images looked like hilarious monsters. Then they came with pictures of their children's poop in the big boy potty, and I did not complain because of the 'Hide' function. Now they've come with pictures of post marital consummation bloody sheets, and I must sadly weep alone, for everyone else has posted drama, ultrasounds, and poop, and there is no one to stand up for me.


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I've gotten to the point that I'm so repelled by the very idea of virginity that I'd like to ban it as a construct. It does more harm than good. It's BS. Let's get rid of it. I hate it.

"Taking" or "giving" one's virginity is as pertinent a right of passage as learning (or telling) that Santa isn't real.

Here's what matters - did you have sex? Was it consensual? Did you enjoy it? Do you respect each other? Was it physically safe? Were you attentive to each others' needs?

Guess what? That stuff matters EVERY TIME. Not just the first time. It's important to point out that it matters EVERY TIME lest people should think raping non-virgins is okay or that someone who has a bad first time is ruined forever.

When you have sex for the first time a magic portal does not open to a new world. No more than it did the first time you held hands with a date or french-kissed. You are not used up. You have not given away something precious and irreplaceable. You do get to do it again. And the more you do it, hopefully, the better it will get.

Imagine a world in which no one held hands until marriage for fear of spoiling the experience of holding your spouse's hand? Ridiculous! Why do we treat sex differently?

Yes, of course, it is a highly intimate act in which you make yourself very vulnerable. It should be done with care. It is important. But the construct of virginity is not helpful in encouraging people to be careful with themselves or others. DOWN WITH VIRGINITY!