Man Posts Evidence of Bride's Lost Virginity To Facebook, World Retches

Few things have greater potential to be irritating than post-wedding Facebook posts from newlyweds, but it looks like one dude has really taken things to an unprecedented level, posting an image of bloodied sheets and proudly telling the whole world that he and his new wife had just had awkward, hymen shredding sex. Mazel vom.

Someone alerted the STFU Believers Tumblr that one of their Facebook friends, a hyperconservative virginity fetishizer, natch, had recently gotten married to a woman who was pure as the driven snow. Naturally, in this age of oversharing, posting a picture of bloodied sheets was the next evolutionary step in never having any secrets ever.

I’d like to invite this man to my first ever colonoscopy. It’s going to be really special.

First they came with wall relationship drama, and I did not speak up, because I love the drama of others. Then they came with pictures of those 3D ultrasounds, I did not complain, because I thought the images looked like hilarious monsters. Then they came with pictures of their children’s poop in the big boy potty, and I did not complain because of the ‘Hide’ function. Now they’ve come with pictures of post marital consummation bloody sheets, and I must sadly weep alone, for everyone else has posted drama, ultrasounds, and poop, and there is no one to stand up for me.