Man Challenges Ex-Wife, Lawyer to a Duel

In what is somehow one of the least bonkers stories in this week’s news cycle, a Kansas man requested that a judge in Iowa allow him to engage in a trial by combat against his ex-wife and her attorney, apparently because they had “destroyed (him) legally.” He would also like the judge to give him enough time to pick up a few Japanese samurai swords for the aforementioned combat, which seems fair.

The Associated Press reports that the prospective dueler is one David Ostrom, 40, of Paolo, Kansas. He would like to fight Bridgette Ostrom, 38, who was once married to him and has for some reason chosen to undo that. He would also like to fight her lawyer, Matthew Hudson, who has been representing Bridgette Ostrom in a legal battle with David Ostrom over custody and property tax issues. Hudson is so good at his job, it seems, that he’s left David Ostrom with no choice but to challenge him to a duel.

Per the Associated Press:

The judge had the power to let the parties “resolve our disputes on the field of battle, legally,” David Ostrom said, adding in his filing that trial by combat “has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States”.

He also asked the judge for 12 weeks’ time so he could secure Japanese samurai swords.

It seems that trial by combat is technically still legal in the United States, though if you kill someone, you might win the trial but still be hit with murder charges. That chance of murder and/or being murdered prompted Hudson to ask the judge to reject the duel request. For now, the judge says he won’t be ruling either way on the duel thing, so it’s possible we’re going to get a much more dramatic Marriage Story ending.