Madonna Thinks Putin, Kale are 'Gay,' Dislikes Guacamole

In an interview/word association game, singer Madonna revealed she associates both Russian President Vladimir Putin and the leafy green vegetable kale with the word “gay.” But why?

Madonna played a word association game with Buzzfeed’s Matt Stopera, and honestly, I have no idea about the kale. I really don’t. Maybe Madonna just couldn’t clear her thoughts after the previous word association: Vladimir Putin. Now that one I actually understand.

I mean she was probably thinking about all of the anti-gay legislation and rhetoric coming out of the Putin Administration, combined with stereotypes about the most homophobic people being secretly in the closet (which is actually a really horrible stereotype, so stop that), when she came up with that association.

But kale? Look, I’m not kale’s biggest fan. Truth be told, I don’t even like most green vegetables at all. I assume that there is probably a connection to the previous thought process… but I also think there’s a more insidious undercurrent which continues to allow the use of “gay” to mean something stupid or disliked. I know, we usually associate that concept with teenagers and not with professional singers with thirty years of hits, especially those considered to be gay icons by some… Still, it’s out there, in the cultural lexicon, and I think it is something to consider when thinking about how it popped out of Madonna mouth—er, pen.

HOWEVER, THERE IS SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT TO DISCUSS!

Thinking guacamole is “gross germs” just because it’s often a communal dish (I think that’s probably where she was going with that)? Hold your tongue! Unforgivable! Gauc is amazing, and if you persist in this opinion, Madge, I may just have to stop listening to Like a Prayer… on repeat… several times a week… and I definitely won’t be singing it in the shower anymore.