When the pop music coalescence of carbon molecules known as Madonna joined Instagram earlier this month, there was much rejoicing. Finally, we, the pop culture gobbling proletariat, would have access to Madge’s most intimate post-lip balm application shots. Racy stuff. It was all going so well until Instagram’s censors descended on her like so many howling, wingéd Wizard of Oz monkeys with the following message that serves as a sobering reminder that celebrities can receive banal notices from social media sites, too. The Internet is the great equalizer!
Hello Madonna,
It has come to our attention that your account on Instagram has violated our Community Guidelines, which can be found here: http://j.mp/rswUWS
In short, we ask that you:
– Don’t share photos that aren’t yours.
– Don’t share photos that show nudity or mature content.
– Don’t share photos of illegal content.
– Don’t share photos that attack an individual or group, or violate our Terms of Use.
And what exactly precipitated this passive-aggressive email from Instagram’s Thought Police? Madonna posted some pictures of her semi-nude butt, and two Frida Kahlo photos that she may or may not own. She also misspelled “Kahlo” because spelling is for plebs. [Instagram, Business Insider]
- Madonna’s Oscar party may have one less guest: Sofia Vergara has cancelled all her Oscar plans due to a mysterious hospital visit. [Daily Mail]
- Eep! Lindsay Lohan‘s former assistant Gavin Doyle has been issued a subpoena and will testify during Lindz’s trial for a probation violation. [E!]
- Breaking Dawn Part 2 was showered with seven dubious Razzie honors last night, including worst picture, worst actress for Kristen Stewart and worst supporting actor for Taylor Lautner. Somehow, Edward Cullen escaped unscathed. [Today]
- Meanwhile, Twilight alumnus Bronson Pelletier received two years’ summary probation for believing that he really was a werewolf and spraying his scent in public. [Today]
- Otis ‘Damon’ Harris, a member of The Temptations, has died at 62 after a prolonged battle with prostate cancer. [Baltimore Sun]
- Speaking of sad happenings, Jessica Chastain‘s estranged father Michael Monasterio died earlier this month. A memorial (which the Oscar-nominated actress had no plans to attend) was held on Saturday. [NYDN]
- Rihanna‘s campaign to troll the media over her relationship with Chris Brown continues apace with this inflammatory snippet: “Chris isn’t the monster everyone thinks he is. He has a fantastic heart.” [Mirror]
- Jauntily surnamed Lindsey Knickerbocker, the daughter of semi-famous Orange County hausfrau Tammy Knickerbocker, has pleaded no contest to drunkenly slugging a police officer. [TMZ]
- So Kanye West doesn’t like the new Justin Timberlake single “Suit & Tie”? But it features the Batman to Kanye’s Robin, Jay-Z! [HuffPo]
- There’s a baby girl growing inside of Kim Kardashian‘s uterus. [Us]
- A warrant has been issued for Suge Knight‘s arrest because he did not deign appear in court Thursday just to be reprimanded for driving with a suspended license. [TMZ]
- Ke$ha was seen carrying her cat around outside, which seems like an excellent way to either “lose” a shitty cat or mug people with cat allergies. [Buzzfeed]
- MC Hammer‘s life is a parody of a tragedy — the rapper tweeted Saturday that he was arrested in Dublin, California by a “chubby elvis looking dude.” [CNN]