In case you haven't read Billboard's interview with Madonna, then you should do so immediately. It's really a study in Madonna's worn performance of "Madonna." During the interview Madonna unfolds "herself on a white leather horseshoe-shaped couch," is "trailed by a servant," and decides that the interview should really be a drinking game.

While her servant pours tequila out of "an old-timey glass bottle with a black ribbon tied around the neck," Madonna offers her insight into strong women, the ever-present "word police," and cultural touchstones like Fifty Shades of Grey.

On her love of the word bitch:

The word police can f—- off. I don't want to be policed! I'm not interested in political correctness. The word "bitch" means a lot of different things. Everything is about context. When I first moved to England and heard the word "c—t," I was horrified. People were calling each other c—ts! And then I realized that, in that culture, it was different — they slapped each other on the back and said, "Who's the c—t, right, you're my best mate!" The word "f—-" doesn't just mean sexual intercourse. I mean, "You're a stupid f—-," "Are you going to f—- with me?" "F— off!" (Laughs.) Sex has nothing to do with any of those expressions, and the same goes for "bitch." If I say to you, "I'm a badass bitch," I'm owning myself, I'm saying, "I'm strong, I'm tough, and don't mess with me." If I say, "Why are you being such a bitch to me?," well, that means something else.

Advertisement

On being asked about romance and marriage:

No, no. Stupid question! You can have a drink. (Pours shot.) First of all, everybody says it in America. What? Who are you talking about? Down it!

Advertisement

On Fifty Shades of Grey:

It's not very sexy, maybe for someone who has never had sex before. I kept waiting for something exciting and crazy to happen in that red room thing, and I was like, "Hmm, a lot of spanking." I also thought, "This is so unrealistic because no guy goes down on a girl that much." I'm sorry, but no one eats p—— as much as the guy in that book.

Advertisement

Madonna: Still kinda oblivious. (Pours shot.) (Downs shot.)

Advertisement

Image via Getty.