Madison Cawthorn Wants Us All to Know He’s Been Invited to Orgies

US congressman and insurrectionist Ken doll Madison Cawthorn (R-NC) has news for us, and it’s that he has been invited to participate in orgies and do nose drugs with his very cool colleagues while they all run the country, thank you very much.

In a new episode of the conservative podcast Warrior Poet Society, Cawthorn compared his life to the Netflix political drama House of Cards and claimed to be having some interesting interactions with people he’s “looked up to through my life.”

“All of a sudden you get invited to, ‘Well hey, we’re going to have kind of a sexual get-together at one of our homes, you should come,’” he said. “I’m like, ‘What did you just ask me to come to?’ And then you realize they are asking you to come to an orgy.”

He continued, “Some of the people that are leading on the movement to try and remove addiction in our country and then you watch them do, you know, a key bump of cocaine right in front of you and it’s like, wow, this is wild.”

Cawthorn may perhaps be the only person in the world to be this surprised about D.C. politicians doing drugs and thought he’d go ahead and wow us with that little tidbit. But frankly, I’m more surprised anyone is inviting Cawthorn to parties of any kind, let alone those of the—in his own words—“sexual get-together” variety.

You’ll recall that over 150 of the 25-year-old representative’s former college classmates last year signed a letter stating that his predatory sexual behavior was well-known on campus, and several women who went to school with Cawthorn have accused him of sexual harassment and other misconduct. One sincerely has to wonder who is organizing let alone attending these little get-togethers, if Cawthorn is on the invite list—or, perhaps, like 99% of everything that comes out of his mouth, these orgy stories are a desperate bid for attention, too.

In any case, since I trust that at least the cocaine part of his little tale may be true, I’m equally stunned that anyone would do drugs in front of Cawthorn, whose face and general demeanor feel like they were designed in a lab to be the embodiment of a narc.

For all of the tempting offers being sent his way, Cawthorn has kept himself very busy, providing fodder for Russian, pro-war state television and facing a legal challenge to his right to hold office after inciting an insurrection last year.