Living, Breathing Dick Reportedly Now Addressing 'Women's Issues'

Image via AP.
Image via AP.

According to a report from Politico, balding 31-year-old extremist and senior advisor to the president Stephen Miller is on the up and up in the White House, having “made sure his colleagues know he’s not on Bannon’s team.” Unnamed sources told Politico that Miller is working with Ivanka Trump on family leave, child care, and women’s issues, perhaps because there weren’t any other actual women available to help her give wealthy parents a leg up.


Miller has a pretty long history of being a sexist, bigoted asshole for someone who was born fairly recently. The Huffington Post references an essay he wrote in college called “Sorry Feminists”—great title—which argued that the pay gap is actually our fault because, among other things, women choose “lower-paying professions” and have the gall to give birth to children. Miller grew up in a liberal Jewish family in Santa Monica, which was apparently a terrible trial for him; he once ran for student government in high school and was booed off the stage after advocating that people not pick up their trash “when we have plenty of janitors who are paid to do it for us.”

Miller, a former Senate aide to Jeff Sessions, crafted Trump’s first travel ban and became infamous for his dead-eyed insistence that millions of people voted illegally in the 2016 election. During the campaign, Miller defended Donald Trump’s sexist Twitter attack on Heidi Cruz by, incredibly, changing the subject to genital mutilation.

“Early on in life, he was on a crusade against liberalism and liberals,” a former school counselor told the Los Angeles Times in January. “He just didn’t buy it. He didn’t believe the oppression existed.… This guy is 17 years old, and it’s like listening to someone who’s 70 years old — in the 1930s.”

Can’t wait to see what this ally cooks up for us.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.


JujyMonkey: unstable genius

I can’t quite place what this twerp Stephen Miller resembles. a poorly designed muppet? A ventriloquist dummy possessed by one of the minor demons? I’m not quite sure.

While working with this guy, I’m pretty sure Ivanka won’t be looking at him the way she thirstily looked at Justin Trudeau.

Unable to post pic- feel free to add.