Lindsay Lohan Is Threatening to Take Over Your Social Media

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

Lindsay Lohan is “back, bitches,” or so she says in this trailer for a new reality TV show, where she’s pulling your strings and you’re wondering how it came to this.

Vanity Fair reports that Lohan’s manager has said she is “shopping around” a new reality TV show, The Anti-Social Network, that’s kind of like a prank reality show with too many steps. Lohan talks to a woman, who is setting up a man to do challenges like pose nude and kiss the girl he loves (a different woman), but he doesn’t know Lohan is orchestrating the whole ensemble through the dark web. He gets all his orders via text or on Facebook or something social media-related, because as Lohan claims, “I love social media. I am social media.”


Lohan only has 17 posts on Instagram right now, but each one is worth a thousands words. She has 85 tweets, one of which is a request for fans to RT if they’re excited about her new show; as of this blog post, 937 people have done so. Winners of the show win unspecified fabulous prizes, and losers win a very weird first date story.

“I’ve decided to dare people to really question how much their social media is worth,” she intones. If Lindsay Lohan can get me to pose nude on camera via DM it would still probably be one of the least embarrassing things I’ve ever done on any public platform.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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Did she just refer to me as a bitch?

Well to hell with her then. I’m not going to watch a show featuring someone who insults me.