The inside of Lindsay Lohan's brain is composed of vodka, PediaLite and one failed Tyra Banks music video, but this hasn't deterred Team Oprah from offering her $2 million actual American dollars to feature an 8-part docuseries on OWN about LiLo's life and struggles. (For context, she got $1 million from her Playboy shoot.)
In addition to the paycheck, she gets two assistants and a stylist. Apparently they've been negotiating for months, and Lindsay actually signed the deal at Betty Ford, so tuck that away in the "It's like ray-yayn on your wedding dayYYYY" file.
Fucking MEANWHILE, Dina Lohan was asked about the Great Oprah Adventure while gallivating around Jill Zarin's fashion show. "Oh, it's fantastic. If there’s any mentor you could choose, there’s nobody better than Oprah. This is a great opportunity for Lindsay. We are all very excited about it." Will you appear in the docuseries, Dina? "Possibly! It's about family... And I'm family."
With the discovery of "numerous amounts of alcohol" and substances in Cory Monteith's hotel room comes revelations about his sober life in L.A. (where Lea Michele helped him stay the course) contrasting with trips to Vancouver, where he drank, did drugs and hung out with friends who encouraged his addictions. [E!, TMZ]
The autopsy has been completed but results won't come in for another few days. [NBC News]
On Kris Jenner's debut of her talk show Kris, the Mama Rose of Generation TMZ proved that the rental baby-as-publicity-stunt trend (See also: T-Swizzle and Harry Styles, December 2012) ain't going nowhere. She used one to fool her audience into thinking it was North West.
The 57-year-old momager-turned-host fooled the world — for a few seconds, at least — as she brought out a baby from behind-the-stage.
The oohs and aahs ensued, but as it turned out, the infant was NOT baby North West: The tiny tot belonged to Jenner's stylist.
Once upon a time, a couple was driving to a Dave Matthews Band concert in Hershey, Pennsylvania when they stopped to pick up a hitchhiker who turned out to be Dave Matthews. He invited them to dinner and backstage afterwards.
Said passenger Emily Kraus, “We didn’t know how to make conversation with him, so we were talking about his tour and where he had come from." Not their fault! Dave Matthews hadn't spoken to a non-stoned person since 1996. He did the best he could by emitting a series of yelps and clicks and picking up the dinner check. [WXPI]
This is a picture of Mama June with her biggest fan, Miley Cyrus, on the set of Good Morning America. What better way to say good morning to America than "Hark, the world has descended into utter chaos, run for your crawlspaces." [Gossip Cop]
- Bieblena had some burrz. [TMZ]
- Amanda Bynes requested a "Miley Cyrus grill" from a grill maker. (I think there was a cute grill maker's apprentice in the Felicity American Doll series?) [TMZ]
- Bynes has apparently been offered $200,000 for a record deal. [Radar]
- Rihanna has also obtained a new grill. [E!]
- Jennifer Garner is the new face of Max Mara. [People]
- Questlove wrote a great, candid op-ed for HuffPo about the Trayvon Martin case. [HuffPo]
- Howard Stern cut in during Jimmy Kimmel and Molly McNearny's first dance as married couple at their wedding. [Radar Online]
- Stacy Keibler says the Cloon breakup was not dramatic. [Gossip Cop]
- The Claire Danes Vogue shoot is amazing and features Damian Lewis. [People]
- Elton John calls Ed Sheeran once a week, just to show how much he cares. <3 [People]
- Tom Cruise gave a surprise pep talk to an acting studio in Santa Monica. (Probs this with some key words changed, and sans annoying little kid that everyone wanted to punt off the screen.) [Page Six]
- Duchess Camilla and co. and the co.'s corgis are "waiting by the phone" for the Royal Baby to pop out. [Us Weekly]
- Which could happen THIS WEEK IN HISTORY. [People]
- Beyoncé shopped at Targé for some toilet paperé. [NYDN]
- Jake Gyllenhaal and his model girlfriend went to Barry's Boot Camp together. Yawn. [Page Six]
- Uma Thurman made out with her boyfriend on a yacht. What did you do this weekend? [Us Weekly]
- Tara Reid is basking in the glow of Sharknado. [Page Six]
- Headline of the day: "Kate Upton's Cleavage Heats Up Africa." Go home, Internet. You're drunk. [E!]