Rapper Lil Yachty—21, human being—has the palate of a five-year-old. Yachty once claimed he has eaten pizza every single day since he was in second grade. He also says he’s never eaten a fruit or vegetable. But it’s one thing to have a diet that consists of pizza, chicken nuggets, and corn dogs—I’ll allow it; food deserts are fuckin’ real, it’s easier to grab a pizza than to make a salad—and it’s another thing to have never tried hot sauce before.
That was the case for Yachty until he appeared on First We Feast’s “Hot Ones,” a web series in which host Sean Evans interviews celebrities like Chrissy Teigen, Michael Cera, Ricky Gervais, and DJ Khaled while they eat chicken dipped in increasingly hot sauces.
“I don’t eat spicy food,” said Yachty. “I’ve never had hot sauce in my life.”
Evans was shocked, as was I.
People of various cultures and ethnic backgrounds enjoy hot sauce, but as a black American I’m gobsmacked that fellow black American, Yachty, has never tried a drop of goddamn hot sauce in his goddamn life. He’s from Atlanta. Has Yachty truly never smothered some fried catfish in hot sauce? Has he never dunked a hushpuppy in some Frank’s Red Hot? Poured a little on some collard greens? Wait, he doesn’t do vegetables, so scratch that one.
I’m shocked. I’m dismayed. I’m confused. I’m fascinated.