Rapper Lil Yachty—21, human being—has the palate of a five-year-old. Yachty once claimed he has eaten pizza every single day since he was in second grade. He also says he’s never eaten a fruit or vegetable. But it’s one thing to have a diet that consists of pizza, chicken nuggets, and corn dogs—I’ll allow it; food deserts are fuckin’ real, it’s easier to grab a pizza than to make a salad—and it’s another thing to have never tried hot sauce before.
That was the case for Yachty until he appeared on First We Feast’s “Hot Ones,” a web series in which host Sean Evans interviews celebrities like Chrissy Teigen, Michael Cera, Ricky Gervais, and DJ Khaled while they eat chicken dipped in increasingly hot sauces.
“I don’t eat spicy food,” said Yachty. “I’ve never had hot sauce in my life.”
Evans was shocked, as was I.
People of various cultures and ethnic backgrounds enjoy hot sauce, but as a black American I’m gobsmacked that fellow black American, Yachty, has never tried a drop of goddamn hot sauce in his goddamn life. He’s from Atlanta. Has Yachty truly never smothered some fried catfish in hot sauce? Has he never dunked a hushpuppy in some Frank’s Red Hot? Poured a little on some collard greens? Wait, he doesn’t do vegetables, so scratch that one.
I’m shocked. I’m dismayed. I’m confused. I’m fascinated.
“I was always curious about, like, how does hot sauce work,” said Yacthy, nibbling on a chicken tender dipped in the third hot sauce that scores a 7,900 on the Scoville scale; that’s just a touch spicier than a jalapeno. “Growing up I used to wonder, like, ‘If I touched it, was it hot?’ I didn’t know if it was on-tongue situation or in-the-throat situation, I just never knew.”
He enjoys the more mild sauces, but as the spice factor increases, Yachty becomes visibly uncomfortable.
“It seems like you’re taking to the hot sauce a little bit,” Evans notes.
“Yeah, but I still don’t think I’ll ever eat it again,” said Yacthy.
He soldiers on.
“It’s like it leaves and comes back,” Yachty gasps, as the spice lingers mid-interview.
For someone who has never tried hot sauce before, he makes it pretty far before tapping out, which looked a little something like this.
“I feel like I’m burning all my taste buds with a flame torch,” Yachty adds.
A hot sauce with a 625,000 rating on the Scoville scale is presented before him.
“You gotta be fucked up if you think I’m finishing,” says Yachty. “I am still tryna recover. How dare you?”
Someone please tell Yachty he can still enjoy a nice, mild spice with his chicken tenders!
DISCUSSION
Yachty, you can still enjoy a nice, mild spice with your chicken tenders!