Let’s Learn Some Things About Duchess Fergie’s Son-in-Law We Maybe Don’t Want to Know

Sarah Ferguson exists in the approximate realm that might be considered “royal-adjacent,” insomuch that she loves to speak in the third person and shares two children with extremely bad man Prince Andrew. Eugenie and Beatrice are their daughters, and you might have heard about them because they are people who have had weddings. A big thing in royal circles, so I’m told.

Well, one of those somebody’s husband—Eugenie’s, to be particular—is in the headlines across the pond this week. Jack Brooksbank, noted spouse to Eugenie, was snapped canoodling with “bikini-clad women” on a yacht in Capri, or so the Mirror reports. Actually, let me read the headline exactly: “EXCLUSIVE: Princess Eugenie’s husband ‘more geek than gigolo’ as he poses with girls on boat.” Thanks, Mirror!

As the outlet reports:

“Jack Brooksbank was snapped larking around with pals Rachel Zalis, Maria Buccellati, and Erica Pelosini during a weekend break in the Med. The 35-year-old European brand director of Casamigos Tequila had his arm around model-turned-fashion ambassador Ms Buccellati, who wore a skimpy orange swimsuit. […] The pair were later seen back on deck and Jack had wrapped a towel around his waist.

Wait, I’m sorry: CASAMIGOS? Like… George Clooney’s tequila? Fascinating that this man is their European brand director.

Ok, but let’s not get distracted. As most things usually go, the drama in the British tabloids didn’t stop there. Immediately after, Duchess Fergie issued a statement on her son in law, via an appearance on The One Show Monday:

“He’s just one of my most favorite people. I call him James Bond, actually. He’s just a superhero in my book, and he’s a great father, a fabulous husband, and he’s never at front of house, he always likes to be at the back.”

Thanks for clarifying that! I cannot wait to retreat to a mental place where I didn’t know about any of this.

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