Let's Find Lance Bass a Spaceship to Reality

Photo: AP
Photo: AP

Lance Bass still thinks he’s going to space. This is starting to get uncomfortable!

During an appearance on “Watch What Happens Live” on Monday, the 37-year-old former *NSYNC singer said that he’s “very connected with the space community still...privately and NASA.” (Sure, buddy.) “I still plan to go [to space],” he said. “I wasn’t just going to float around,” he added. “I was doing some real work up there.”


Look. It’s time to get real, Lance. You’re not going to space. Get over it. Pull it together. You’re 37 years old—realistically, you’ll probably die before commercial travel hits the mass market, and even if you don’t you’ll probably be so old that the G-forces sustained during lift-off alone would kill you.

You think you’re living in the future, but you’re not—you’re living in the past. Your childhood dreams have wormed their way into your deepest unconscious because you’ve never recovered from the trauma of *NSYNC, and so you seek refuge in this ludicrous dream of floating through the void.

You had your shot, and the Russians turned you down. That was 15 years ago! You’re still on the Board of Governors for the National Space Society, for heaven’s sake. (Did you know the NSS was founded by Dr. Wernher von Braun, the Nazi aerospace engineer who invented the V-2 rocket—built with Jewish slave labor!—for Germany before joining NASA after World War II?)

Anyway, triathlons are very popular these days. Why not give that a shot?

Reporter, Special Projects Desk

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Are you telling me that he needs to say Bye Bye Bye to his dreams of going to space?

I will see myself out.