Let's Fight About Which Fruits Are Good

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I eat fruit every day, not because I am supposed to but because I want to. So far today I have eaten two clementines and some grapes. I will probably eat one, maybe two more clementines before the day is through. I have no idea if eating this much fruit is healthy and I do not care. Kill me, fruit. It’s how I wanna go out.

After a lifetime of consuming fruit, this is a definitive ranking of fruits I have eaten, though probably not all fruits in the world. When ranking the fruits, I considered ease of use (mango is so good but labor intensive) and relative affordability (grapes are expensive).

Fruit time:

1. Clementine

2. Red grapes

3. Plum

4. Mango

5. Cara Cara orange

6. Grapefruit

7. Blackberry

8. Bing cherry

9. Gala apple

10. Banana

11. Granny Smith apple

12. Man tries to play acoustic guitar for you

13. Pear

Please rank your fruits in the comments. Thank you to Deadspin’s Laura Wagner for inspiration.

Senior editor, Jezebel

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Rich Juzwiak

I’m having an actual meltdown that blueberries are nowhere in this post.