Let's Check in With Aunt Becky

Illustration for article titled Let's Check in With Aunt Becky
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As governments around the world continue to instruct people to participate in social distancing to slow the spread of covid-19, federal courts in Boston remain open, and Aunt Becky is still desperately trying to prove her innocence. In a hail mary attempt to have their cases dismissed, Lori Loughlin, her husband Mossimo Giannulli, and 12 other rich parents who were part of Operation Varsity Blues recently filed a collection of memos citing federal entrapment.


Aunt Becky’s lawyers came in with the same argument they’ve been pushing for weeks—that she and Giannulli can’t be charged with honest services fraud because they didn’t knowingly participate in a quid pro quo; they really thought they were just donating a legitimate, charitable contribution of $500,000 to USC to get their influencer kid Olivia Jade (and the other one) enrolled. According to TMZ, Louhglin and the other defendants claimed that evidence collected by the prosecution “was a sham carefully engineered by government agents in an effort to entrap defendants and ‘nail’ them ‘at all costs.’”

On April 8, prosecution fired back, denying their claims in a 36-page filing, Deadline reports. “The defendants’ core allegations of misconduct are premised on a straw man: that this case is only about bribery,” the U.S. Attorney for Massachusetts’ office stated in its response.

Aunt Becky has been having a hard time in the courts for the past two months. On March 17, U.S. District Judge Nathaniel Gorton ordered that pre-trial deadlines in criminal cases be extended for 60 days with individual exemptions. Becky didn’t catch a break there, either: according to The Boston Herald, she is still scheduled to stand trial on October 5, with jury selection to take place on September 28.

The trial could be delayed—depending on where the coronavirus takes us this year—but as of now, it’s all up to a judge. Once again, things are not looking good.

Meanwhile, Olivia Jade seems to be doing fine.

URL: Senior Writer, Jezebel. IRL: Author of the very good book 'LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands from NKOTB to BTS,' out now.


Lord Whistledown

Aunt Becky walking into a courthouse looking like she’s aged ten years while her airhead daughter pretends to luxuriate without a care in the world is like the epilogue montage from a John Waters movie.

She should've learned from Felicity Huffman: if you didn't do it, plead not guilty. If you did it, take the deal.