Let's Check in on Florida, Shall We?

Illustration for article titled Let's Check in on Florida, Shall We?

Auntie Barb, keeping it real on a Thursday afternoon.


Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • The Florida recount is going as well as you might have expected. [ABC News]
  • And it appears the Florida Senate race is headed to a manual recount. [New York Times]
  • In other election news, the Democrats have picked up another House seat, with Jared Golden’s defeat of Republican incumbent Bruce Poliquin in Maine. Can we have ranked choice voting everywhere please? [CNN]
  • Republican incumbent Mia Love has filed a lawsuit to halt the vote counting in her Congressional race. [Politico]
  • Meet Cassandra Levesque, a 19-year-old former Girl Scout who won her race to become a member of the New Hampshire state legislature. [New York Times]
  • The Pentagon has failed its first ever audit. “We failed the audit, but we never expected to pass it,” said Deputy Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan, encapsulating exactly how I felt when I took a physics class in college. [Reuters]
  • Ronald Vitiello, the acting head of ICE, apologized for sending a tweet in 2015 in which he suggested the Democratic Party rename itself the “liberalcratic party or the NeoKlanist party.” [NBC News]
  • Beginning November 19, U.S. Immigration and Citizenship Services will have more expansive powers to start deportation proceedings for non-citizens. [Miami Herald]
  • Don Jr.’s business trip to India cost taxpayers a nice $100,000. Donnie, expect a Venmo request from me later tonight. [Washington Post]
  • Remember Maria Butina, the alleged Russian spy? She’s asking for the charges brought against her to be dropped. [CNN]
  • Michael Avenatti, who was arrested Wednesday on a domestic violence charge, calls the allegations “completely bogus.” He continued: “I have never been physically abusive in my life nor was I last night. Any accusations to the contrary are fabricated and meant to do harm to my reputation. I look forward to being fully exonerated.” He also seems to be implying that Jacob Wohl is behind his arrest? [Washington Post/Twitter]
  • Finally, some nice, heartwarming news: the NRA will no longer be offering free coffee and providing water coolers to employees as part of its cost-cutting efforts. [The Trace]

Here are a bunch of tweets the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.

Senior reporter, Jezebel



Yesterday was the first day in a good long while that Donald J. LePetomane Trump wasn’t the biggest piece of shit on the planet.

No, that honor goes to the festering turd that shouted “Heil Hitler” and threw a Nazi salute at a performance of “Fiddler On The Roof” last night.