Let's Cancel Some Powerful Political Figures

Let's Cancel Some Powerful Political Figures

Year in Review 2019Year in Review 2019Remembering the year that you, me, and everyone we know was canceled. Rest in peace

Welcome to Day Two of Jezebel’s Cancel Tournament 2019. “Cancel culture” itself might be a divisive term, but you guys sure have lots of opinions on what must go.

On Wednesday, we kicked things off with the Celebrity Arts division. Here are the results: Offensive Comedians (16) kicked Kevin Hart (1) out of the paint, with 64.7 percent to 35.3 percent of votes. That’s nothing compared to your desire to cancel Kanye West (8) over Michael Jackson’s music (9) at a difference of 74.1 percent to 25.9 percent. Logan Paul (12) doesn’t stand a chance in this game, securing 92.4 percent of the vote to cancel him over Child Stars (5), who ranked in a measly 7.6 percent. Looks like the cast of Stranger Things can stay... for now. The Kardashians (4) are still on the ballot to get canceled, with 81. 1 percent versus Clapbacks (13). Winter has come for Game of Thrones’ Creators (11), who were selected to be canceled by 64.9 percent of you who hated the final season, which means James Corden (6) is free to roam about the cabin and not be canceled.

When it comes to #Shawmila vs. reboot culture, voters were conflicted. But most of you chose to cancel Reboots (14) over Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello (3)—54.2 percent to 45.7. You also love Podcasts (15), which got only 29.6 percent of the votes, and you instead chose to cancel Cable TV (2) at 70.4 percent. Last but certainly not least, with the tightest game in the race, you’ve chosen to cancel TV Streaming Services (7) over Scarlett Johansson (10), 50.3 percent to 49.7 percent. That vote was determined by just 69 voters. Let this be a lesson in the power of democracy!

Today, we’re closing out the first half of Round 1, the Politics division. Who deserves to be canceled more: Bari Weiss (1) or Bret Stephens (16)? One (Bari) uses New York Times columns and Twitter to try to rid the world of sensible concerns. The other (Bret) freaks out over being compared to a bed bug. Whose political coverage leaves much to be desired, that of The Atlantic (8) or anything Alyssa Milano (9) spews? In a fight to the death, who deserves victory: once Presidential-hopeful Bill DeBlasio (5), or Ivanka Trump’s Nazi Dog (12)? If burdened by one inexplicably mediocre force for the rest of eternity, are you picking Joe Biden (4) or Paper Straws (13), both ineffective in most weather conditions? Whose wacky opinions do you think should remain in 2019, those that leak out of Meghan McCain (6) on The View, or those that shoot from the stars directly into the life force of alien candidate Marianne Williamson (11)?

Quick, pick one: Jake Tapper (3) or Chapo Trap House (14)? Speed round: MSNBC (7) or The FOX News Blondes (10), Tomi Lahren included? And last but not least, let’s take it back to 2016: what should’ve gotten the boot years ago that still remains: But Her Emails (2) vs. Bernie Would’ve Won (15)?

You have 24 hours to cast your vote below.

There are 8 questions in the form below. Once you vote, the next question will pop up. To go back and change a vote, click the arrows. Click “Submit” at the end to make sure your votes count! Remember you’re voting for the thing you’d like to be canceled.

See you tomorrow, when we’ll tackle the third of four topics in Round 1: Lifestyle concepts, like the keto diet, vapes, new milks and Soulcycle.

Here’s the updated bracket.

Illustration for article titled Lets Cancel Some Powerful Political Figures
Illustration: Jim Cooke (G/O Media

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

This one required a bit of research as I had no idea what or who Chapo Trap House is. I then voted to cancel ‘cause why not?