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Let's Appreciate Casey Short's Perfect Ponytail

Illustration for article titled Lets Appreciate Casey Shorts Perfect Ponytail
Image: Alex Goodlett (Getty Images)

In my short time working at this website, one thing that I’ve learned is to never write the “this thing is perfect” piece because as soon as its written something terrible will happen and that thing will no longer be perfect. But in this case, I reject the wisdom of my elders and declare that there is something perfect in the world: Behold Casey Short’s ponytail. I beseech you all to see it and bask in its perfection.

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On Sunday, the Chicago Red Stars faced off against the Utah Royals in another installment of the National Women’s Soccer League’s Challenge Cup. Short, who scored the only goal of the game, gave a stellar performance that was completely upstaged by her majestic ponytail, which I have named Allison.

Illustration for article titled Lets Appreciate Casey Shorts Perfect Ponytail
Image: Alex Goodlett (Getty Images)
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Allison the ponytail is comprised of perfectly formed golden ringlets that frame Casey Short’s head like a bouncy halo. No matter how Short moved, Allison the ponytail was there—reliable, never breaking formation.

Illustration for article titled Lets Appreciate Casey Shorts Perfect Ponytail
Image: Alex Goodlett (Getty Images)

It’s truly a scientific miracle that after 90 minutes of running back and forth, Allison the ponytail still looks fresh and vibrant. Never in hair history has a ponytail worked so hard and been so successful.

Illustration for article titled Lets Appreciate Casey Shorts Perfect Ponytail
Image: Alex Goodlett (Getty Images)
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One ponytail to rule them all.

Illustration for article titled Lets Appreciate Casey Shorts Perfect Ponytail
Image: Alex Goodlett (Getty Images)

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DISCUSSION

millipedevanillipede
MillipedeVanillipede

Magnificent indeed, but her competition in that next-to-last photo is FEARSOME. (I looked her up, that’s Aminata Diallo, who is currently on loan from a French team and who has also clearly mastered the ponytail game.)