The summer bucket list is a well-traveled genre, and one particularly suited to the expression of one’s most intimate dreams and aspirations. Our summer selves are a little wilder, and more daring—or so we hope—and the large swaths of unstructured time facilitate all manner of adventures. Like, for example, “[camping] in a backyard” or taking “8 hoe [sic] pics for Instagram” or “[getting] a boob hickey.”
The aforementioned items are included on an especially thorough summer bucket list that has lately been making the rounds. As The Cut reports, it was purportedly discovered in an Urban Outfitters dressing room. And since Friday, it has been shared nearly 13,000 times on Twitter. Granted, its popularity is understandable: it’s a triumph of the genre.
Here’s the list in full:
A few more notable goals include the following: “get drunk all the time,” “eat cotton candy,” “buy 7 bikinis,” and of course, “have sex.” This person has already “[gotten] a little tan,” which is more than I can say. They’ve also “[hung out] with Jacob (again).” Congratulations, Jacob, on being a priority on this very lengthy list.
I would, however, like to offer one small piece of advice: careful with those boob hickeys. Their administration can very easily go awry. And if someone knows of this place by the name of “randyland,” please do let me know. I’m intrigued.