Larsa Pippen is famous for “doing things,” like going to the same plastic surgeons as once bestie Kimmie Kardashian, or being a former Real Housewives of Miami star for a brief flash—even if the television viewing audience has agreed amongst ourselves to forget that.
These days, without a famous family to sell secrets about, or red carpets to lurk, Pippen has found herself afloat on a vast sea of celebrity apathy. Predictably, she has filled this void with outrageous public appearances at restaurants in the most infected areas of the country. In August, she surfed a rising wave of covid-19 cases to the sidewalks of West Hollywood, where she strutted around in a see-through Phillip Plein bodycon dress with the tags still showing. Desperate to top that experience, she has once again re-emerged in Miami, wearing an ensemble somehow more outrageous than the last.
If I had to describe this, it would be as follows: A trash bag lined with elastic and stitched into the shape of a fake-out bodysuit, where the head emerges from the bottom of the bag and the waist is held up by the drawstring.” The purse looks like Jacquemus’ iconic “Le Chiquito” bag in black, but could also be a dupe from Boohoo. The shoes could also be Boohoo, or PrettyLittleThing, in the style of those Stuart Weitzman thigh highs from six or so seasons ago.
Really, it’s the top that’s the main offender here. I get that Instagram personalities traffic in sexed-up trendiness through the prism of exclusively fast fashion designers, so I won’t fault Pippen for just “doing her job.” But in the midst of a panoramic, without a single mask in sight, one really has to question her need to be photographed in one of Miami’s restaurants, with the state just adding an additional 11,000 cases to its catastrophic 1.3 million total.
For almost a year, I have tried desperately to untangle the motivations of celebrities publicly flouting lockdown measures. Their inner lives seem smaller than ever, so it hasn’t taken much heavy lifting, and besides, at least the Hollywood hanger-ons still wear masks (sometimes.) But Pippen, more than any other pandemic paparazzi fixture, remains a mystery to me. She’s a trash bag wearing ex-Kardashian cultist with ephemeral “jewelry brand” who moved across the country to somewhere the restaurants weren’t closed. Tell me: how does it all possibly fit together.