Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy Nights

Before you leap into Lanvin, pop a Lithium. Because Alber Elbaz is moody — over what, I don’t know, but his clothes are dark and brooding, perfect for any beautiful-but-tortured member of the Parisian elite.

If this model could see through her bangs, she’d probably dig the sharp tailoring on her blazer.

I love this — I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “kicky” before, but this is LBD is kicky.

Why is this jacket reminding me of Johnny Depp? Anyone?

Unlike a stumble on the runway, a stumble down these stairs would probably kill a girl. But if that happened, at least she would die wearing a hot skirt.

You know what makes those stairs even more daunting? Ankle-snapping heels.

Aw, shit — it’s Jumpsuit. Who invited Jumpsuit?

Yes, please. Gloves, too. And the shoes. And…everything, really.

If you’re going to use fur, at least go with a creative shape. Well-played, sir.

A little bland, but the cut suggests it might make your ass look great.

Another potentially ass-tastic dress, this time with a perfect ratio of skin revealing. I’m willing to overlook the voluminous-tricep sleeves.

This is what we call the “downtown” look, if people downtown actually wore clothes this expensive. Also, the proliferation of these black goat-hair coats for fall makes me want to watch Gorillas in the Mist.

Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!

What do you call the fluffy little things that dandelions turn into as they die? If I could figure out the word, I’d elaborate on how this look reminds me of that.

Pretty, classic gown — wish it were in any other color, though.

“Downplay your chained nipples with a feathered statement necklace!”

I’d rather see this whole ensemble in gold. The fan on that skirt deserves to sparkle.