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Lana Del Rey and the Cop Broke Up!

Illustration for article titled Lana Del Rey and the Cop Broke Up!
Screenshot: Lana Del Rey (Instagram

Lana Del Rey, who was previously dating a cop, has now broken up with the cop!

Page Six reports that Del Rey and Sean Larkin, a regular cop as well as a reality tv cop, have ended their six month relationship. They were first spotted together in September and became Instagram official in December, which as everyone knows is the real start of any relationship.

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It seems the death knell was their “busy schedules,” though in the age of coronavirus, no one could possibly be that busy. ““Right now, we’re just friends,” Larkin told the New York Times this week. “We still talk and whatnot, we just have busy schedules right now.”

OK!!!!

Apparently, Larkin’s kids were pretty impressed with Del Rey, as they well should be:

Mr. Larkin says the relationship was pretty normal. “When we were in Tulsa we hung out with my law enforcement friends and their spouses. We all Super Bowl partied together, dinners and things like that,” Mr. Larkin said. “Normal things couples do with their friends.”

Still, telling his 17- and 22-year-old children about “Dad’s new girlfriend” got the expected reaction, Mr. Larkin said: “They were kind of blown away.”

Mr. Larkin finds out about new music from his kids, which he said “helps me stay relevant. As silly as it sounds, even in my job as a police officer.”

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I am sad for Lana, but believe strongly that a) she can do better (A COP??) and b) the combination of coronavirus-mandated social distance and a breakup will bring us a future greatest album of all time. Please! For all of us! We need this!

Night blogger, author of GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE YOU HATE.

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DISCUSSION

itsnotaboutthepasta
itsnotaboutthepasta

“[New music] helps me stay relevant. As silly as it sounds, even in my job as a police officer.”

Wait you mean cops are SUPPOSED to be part of the communities they patrol, and they’re SUPPOSED to build rapport and trust with the people in those communities?? And you’re telling me MUSIC is one of those things that helps build rapport?????? NO. WAY. It’s almost like cops aren’t actually doing the job they’re supposed to be doing, if everyone thinks it’s “silly” that music helps them do their jobs!!!!!!!