Lady-Businesses Should Be All About Lady-Skills, Like Shopping

Are you a woman with an entrepreneurial bent? By all means, follow your dreams — but when you’re drafting that business plan, stick to things you’re naturally good at. Like shopping!

That’s the advice a female venture capitalist gave at the recent Grace Hopper Conference on Women in Computing. Writes Tara Tiger Brown at Forbes:

Imagine for a second what your reaction might be if you went to a panel to hear from other women about their experiences doing a tech startup and a VC, the person that funds startups, told you that she thinks that women should work on things they are naturally gifted at, and she believes shopping is one of them. After she uttered those words my mouth was agape for the rest of the panel.

Brown bemoaned the effect this advice might have on the conference’s young audience — but really, she and her fellow listeners should probably just embrace their God-given love of shoes. Here are a few more ideas for businesses women could use their natural lady-skills to start:

Madame Pinafore’s Dolly-And-Me Pedicures

Why not combine two things ladies love — playing with dolls and getting their toenails painted — into one pretty pink package? Get back in touch with your inner child and your outer glamazon at the same time, while you and the doll of your choice get side-by-side pedicures. Given all women’s natural aptitude for putting nail polish on doll feet, this business is sure to succeed.

WeFeelYou, Inc.

Everybody knows ladies have way too many emotions. So why not sell the extra ones? Emotionally clueless men eager to get in touch with their wives, or just curious about how the other half lives, will no doubt pay you top dollar for your crazy, irrational mood swings. PMS is extra.

Gab Galz

You know how you’re always calling your girlfriends to chatter about every little thing? It’s time to turn your overactive ladymouth into cash. Become a girlfriend-for-hire, spending quality phone time with talk-starved gals, or filling in for men who don’t have time to listen to their ladies — because seriously, guys have important things to do. It’s kind of like phone sex, except you talk about ohnoshedidn’t, and shoes.

GPS (Girl Positioning Systems)

Guys hate asking for directions! That’s why you do it for them. Girl Positioning Systems rents out women to sit in the passenger seat and bat their eyes at gas station employees and other locals in exchange for route information. After you find out what he needs to know, you pat him on the knee and tell him you know he could’ve found it anyway. Then you can offer to take over driving for a bit, but of course he’ll say no — everyone knows ladies can’t drive.

Update: A source who attended the conference tells us that the gift bags contained blue nail polish, hand mirrors, and not one, but two manicure kits. In years past, Microsoft, a sponsor of the conference, gave attendees lipstick. Nothing a woman who works with computers needs more than well maintained nails and juicy, kissable lips.