L.A., Soon to Be Drowning in Dog Poop, Bans Plastic Grocery Bags

Today marks a dark day in the annals of people who refuse to pick up after their dogs (or tethered goats — whatever you’re into): Los Angeles has, with the New Year, instituted a ban on plastic grocery bags, meaning that L.A.-area residents will have to either provide their own bags or pay an extra ten cents for each paper bag a store begrudgingly provides them.

According to the L.A. Times, large grocery stores became subject to the ban starting Wednesday. Starting July 1, smaller independent grocery stores as well as liquor stores that sell groceries will also be prohibited from providing plastic bags. The unincorporated Los Angeles County became one of nearly 90 cities and counties in California to institute such a ban after attempts to pass a ban at the state level floundered thanks to lobbying from bag manufacturers.

The plastic bag ban does, however, come at a cost:

Heal the Bay, a Santa Monica-based environmental group and ban supporter, acknowledged that some shoppers who reuse plastic bags to dispose of animal waste will miss them. On its website, the group suggests using old newspapers to scoop up dog waste during walks, or to reuse bread bags or produce bags, which will still be available.

A few conscientious citizens will certainly avail themselves of whatever materials at hand to scrape their dog’s feces off of the pristine Los Angeles pavement, but using newspaper to pick up (and carry) dog shit is like juggling with handgrenades. Handgrenades covered in poop.