I’ve been away this week, and haven’t had much time to catch up on the news. I hear there is a possible Contagion situation spiraling out of control, or is that just broadcast news anchors’ pre-disposition for disaster-shrieking over something completely manageable? Kristin Chenoweth sure seems worried!
While flying out of LAX Thursday afternoon, the sing-screamer slash former Glee star told TMZ that she was “so scared, because she has to sing, and she can’t get sick.” Neither can I, Kristin! In the video, helpfully provided by TMZ, LAX looks calm—peaceful even! Had madness not yet descended on Los Angelenos?
My flight back home takes off from JFK relatively soon, and I’m wondering what the atmosphere at the terminal will be like: quarantine bays, chanting mobs demanding a healthcare system that actually works, hysteria, maybe even zombies? I’m pretty tired from this week, and would gladly let the mass panic overcome me, as the coronavirus slowly turns me into a mindless zombie chomping away at hapless tourists and the scraps left behind the Dunkin’ Donuts counter. Isn’t that what coronavirus does? I guess I’m unclear. The news has me prophesying an apocalyptic wasteland ruled by warring motorcycle gangs, endlessly traversing the ruined, zombified cities of what was once the United States of America.
At least, if I survive, I can look forward to seeing Kristin Chenoweth in that apocalyptic wasteland! She remembered to bring a mask to the airport. Which reminds me... [TMZ]
When I boarded my flight to NYC on Sunday, people were talking about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Which was fine! As a card carrying member of the Bradifer press pool, I’m used to my colleagues spiraling over these endlessly tormented former 30-somethings. A few days went by, and I emerged from the Jezebel offices to push notifications from Us Weekly about their meet-cute at the SAG Awards. A few more days went by, I roll over in bed, and see that yet again, these tortured former lovers are still chained to the front pages of every tabloid in America. What gives!
Us Weekly, raking in the SEO traffic, is still mining Brad Pitt’s interview with Entertainment Tonight on Wednesday, where he claimed he was “blissfully naive” about the press attention since he locked eyes with Aniston Sunday. Which is fine, I’m willing to believe he hasn’t read anything. (Can extremely rich men even read, anyway?) But what I will NOT stand for, is the assertion that these two are somehow clueless about what is happening here.
This is awards season. These two are nominated for awards. And, there is unfortunately nothing the gossip press loves more than an awards show storyline—it makes writing the SEO blogs easier! It also increases the hype surrounding your respective projects (which is what Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper failed to do during their incredibly joyless A Star is Born press tour.) I’m sure there is some authenticity in their shared surprise at seeing each other around town, but both have maybe definitely been spoken too by their publicists. Here is how that “alleged” conversation probably went: “[Insert name], listen. We’ve got some big projects lined up. The buzz is increasing. Can you maybe, please, just smile at [Insert name]? Please? I know, I know, you’ll never escape it. But we really need this right now, ok? Think about that house you’ve been looking at—this could pay for that! Ok, great. You’re a star! You’re going to be fine.”
I mean, that’s how I would handle that conversation. Everyone has their own methods, though! [Us Weekly]