The modern-day lyrical ode is a sensual picture taken with a camera phone and then shared on Twitter. I can state it definitively. As proof of this: Kim Kardashian tweeted a picture of her butt to, like, millions of people — but mostly to Kanye West, her boyfriend and the father of her child. It was the most romantic thing to have happened since Mariah Carey tweeted her breasts at Nick Cannon an entire week ago.
Kanye’s tweet was met with seas of fan responses, mostly comprised of emojis that were crying for various reasons: crying from laughing, crying from appreciation, just crying in general. The emoji is the official language of the Butt Tweet Critic. [Just Jared]
But apparently neither Kim nor Kanye really feels the need get married; he feels no need “to make their relationship official in the eyes of the law,” and she’s burnt out on weddings after her TV special that lasted but 72 days. Plus, the Butt Tweet is more binding than holy matrimony anyway. [Radar]
Mischa Barton has opened up to People about her mental state in 2009, and it’s really sad. “It was a full-on breakdown,” she said. “I was under enormous pressure… It was terrifying, straight out of Girl, Interrupted.”
“We thought ‘Work hard, play hard,'” she explains, adding, “Nothing could have prepared [my parents] to have their children jump into the overtly sexualized and crazy world of LA.” After being put on 5150 psychiatric hold, the actress began to get her life back together — of course, though, vicious tabloids criticized her for gaining weight, i.e., for not being 18 years old anymore. Perez Hilton, notably, dubbed her Mushy Fartone (which is the most idiotic bullying nickname ever concocted by man or beast).
But Barton has moved on: “I’ve learned a lot. I’m stronger now, and excited for what’s ahead.” She’s filmed a supernatural thriller AND a TV pilot, which is not very good, but it’s good to see her working again! [People]
It doesn’t look like Rebel Wilson will be signing a deal with a weight loss company any time soon. In an interview with Extra, she said, “Even though I’m on a TV show, I don’t really care what I look like that much and I think women out there should just be happy with the way they look.” Yay for body-positivity!
Buuuuut, unfortunately, that also might have a bit to do with the fact that ~60 percent of the jokes on Super Fun Night are about how Rebel Wilson is fat — which she vaguely hints at: “What’s interesting is when you sign deals to be in TV shows or movies, you can’t really change your appearance. So if I wanted to do a Britney or shave my head, I couldn’t really do that.”
In closing, did you know that Rebel has a law degree and an arts degree? What a woman. [The Daily Mail]
- Prince is having a pajama party at his house, and you are invited. It’s called the Breakfast Experience Dance Party, and it begins at 2 a.m. Everyone has to wear pajamas. Prince will sensually put your bra in the freezer. [Billboard]
- DAFT PUNK WITH NO HELMET. DAFT PUNK AT THE BEACH. [Daily Mail]
- Psy and Steven Tyler are collaborating. Ugh, FINALLY someone has thought to combine “Gangam Style” with “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing.” Took you long enough, universe. [Billboard]
- Robert Pattinson says that the most attractive thing about a woman is the way she smells: “I like the smell of people. It is really strange and I’m sure it has to do with pheromones.” I am happy for your heightened olfactory senses, Rob, but “I like the smell of people” is still a really weird sentence. [E!]
- Katy Perry and Kate Hudson have revealed SHOCKING DETAILS about their friendship. “When we text, it’s like ‘Hudson here,'” says Perry. They manage to make it work despite sharing a name. Also: “We play this game called Mafia… we play it all the time.” Whatever makes you happy? [E!]
- Mike Myers and his wife are expecting their second child. Groovy…. ba….b..y…. (sorry, I had to) (collapses, loses will to continue living). [NY Daily News]
- I still don’t really know who Ian Somerhalder is, but here are some images of him cradling a litany of cute lil’ animals. [Your Tango]
- Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner went to a nightclub despite being underage and for some reason everyone cares about this one specific incident? I am confused. [HuffPo]
- Lily Collins and Zac Efron, the match made in Eyebrow Heaven, are hanging out again but it’s probably not romantic. I just want them to rub their brows together 🙁 [Gossip Cop]
- Harry Styles is spending time away from the rest of One Direction. Are their boyish antics wearing on him? But how is that possible when all of your internal organs have been replaced with boyish antics by record executives? [ONTD]
- Jake Gyllenhaal has debuted a man bun. GOOD. LONG LIVE THE MAN BUN. [People]
- In something straight out of a dystopian novel, executives at Victoria’s Secret have decreed that angel Candice Swanepoel shall be the one to wear the annual jewel-bra, which is encrusted in gems and costs $10M. Meanwhile, more than 66o million people live on less than $2 a day. Ho hum. [ONTD]
- Lamar Odom is trying to reconcile with Khloe Kardashian, says a friend of the basketball player. [Bossip]
- GQ did a photo spread of Emily Ratajkowski, the most petulant of all the women-props in the “Blurred Lines” video. In one photo, she appears to be having an orgasm behind a giant slice of pizza. Um, same? [ONTD, GQ]