One would think that after a decade in the spotlight, Kim Kardashian would understand the value of simply saying less. But alas, she does not, and for some reason, we all continue to gulp from a firehose of useless information about her life, every day. I would prefer to simply ignore it, but because this is literally a celebrity gossip column, bring on all the more boring details!
Yesterday, the reality star kicked off a 12-hour press day at the Today Show in New York City to “promote her skincare line,” aka do damage control for maybe or maybe not ruining Marilyn Monroe’s iconic dress at the MET Gala and to discuss her weight some more. In a sit-down interview with Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie, Kardashian spilled about basically everything but her new brand, Skkn—including marriage (“Maybe I’m not the best at it”) and waiting 10 months to move on post-divorce. Inevitably, she played the hits, boasting about dropping another six pounds since her storied MET Gala starvation diet by “eating healthy.”
“I’m not trying to lose any more weight, but I have more energy than ever. I cut out so much sugar—a lot of junk food I was eating, I didn’t realize, like a lot of fried foods. And I just completely changed my lifestyle.”
Scintillating, no? She then moved onto how much boyfriend Pete Davidson has taught her about skincare...yes, you read that correctly. The man who appears to have slept exclusively in a flagging Eastern European castle for the last decade has taught a woman widely considered to be a beauty icon about skincare.
“I’ve learned so much about skincare, actually, from him,” Kardashian revealed. “He’s really into skincare. That’s, like, our thing. We go to dermatologists and facials,” she added. They also get spray tans, apparently.
Next on the media blitz was the Condé Nast offices, where she managed to sucker Vogue EIC Anna Wintour into snapping a truly cursed selfie and, once again, discussed her weight and her latest sartorial shock in a 30-minute talk with employees. “There was a lot of outrage that I had lost weight for that [dress],” Kardashian said. “I still support my decision, because I just started eating way healthier. I consulted with a nutritionist and my trainer.”
She also shared that eldest daughter North West intends to take over both of her parents’ businesses, Yeezy and Skims. “I told her the other day, ‘If you want to run [them], you’re going to have to wake up early,’” Kim said. “And she said, ‘Run it? I just said I want the money from it!’” Nepotism babies, they’re nothing like us!
Speaking of nepotism babies! While en route to the next stop, Kardashian went live on Instagram in the backseat with her two sons, Saint and Psalm. In a viral clip from the live, the former pops into the frame as Kardashian appears to be distracted by her own reflection and politely greets the thousands that tuned in.
“Hi weirdos!” he chirps. “If you’re watching this, I hate you!” Seconds later, Saint mentions wanting more Pokémon cards.
The final “promotional” interview of the day was none other than The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon—okay, seriously has anyone ever gotten an interview on a late night show simply to promote a skin care line?—where she did...what, ladies and gentlemen? Discussed how Davidson loves taking care of his skin. The interview was interrupted, however, by two boys who likely did not get any Pokémon cards after the taping.
“I’m hearing kids,” Fallon said, halting the chat. “Guys, can you stop? This is, like, your first time at work with me. Can you please?” Kardashian pled. And yet, the brothers didn’t stop.
“Guys, seriously. You got to, you got to go,” Kardashian yelled over to her sons again. Eventually, Psalm was removed from the audience.
If take-your-kid-to-work day involved listening to my mom drone for the umpteenth time about her skincare-loving boyfriend to a half-captive audience and a giggling Trump apologist, I too, would be squirming in my seat.
- Amber Heard will reportedly author a tell-all book in the aftermath of the defamation trial waged by her ex-husband, Johnny Depp. If writing an op-ed that never mentioned him prompted a lawsuit and coordinated social media smear campaign, I shudder to think of what fresh hell will arrive with a hardback. [NY Post]
- A civil jury reached a verdict that Bill Cosby sexually abused a teenager at the Playboy Mansion in the 1970's. [CNN]
- The first photos of Margot Robbie on set as Barbie in the upcoming live-action film are here, and I’ve never wanted to look plastic more in my life! [Daily Mail]
- Hailey Bieber was hit with a trademark infringement lawsuit, as any celebrity who attempts to start a business with a generic name they think is genius usually does! [People]
- Michael B. Jordan has removed every trace of ex-girlfriend Lori Harvey from his Instagram, yet has not replied to a single one of my DMs.