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Kiddie Pageant Star Says She's Happier When Her Face Isn't Spackled

Anderson Cooper invited pageant kids, their moms, and a disgruntled ex-pageant girl onto his daytime show for an intelligent discussion about the child pageant circuit. Okay, maybe it wasn't that intelligent, but Eden Wood did do a little song and dance!


Perhaps the most revealing bit of the episode came at the tail end, when Cooper's staff "made under" the little girls by wiping off their makeup and putting them into street clothes (which for Eden Wood still means black leather knee-high boots). When they all bounced back onto the stage with delight, they each of declared that they prefer themselves without all of the makeup and glamour. THAT IS ABSURD. Thankfully, Eden's mother didn't seem convinced. She can see right through that kind of bullshit.

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SeaLionEatBeast is suspended in gaffa.

If that child sings "Cutie-Patootie" on one more damn television show, I'm calling CPS.

Besides, it will never be as good as this: