Kid Blows Up Used Condom Thinking It's a Balloon, Has to Get Tested

Illustration for article titled Kid Blows Up Used Condom Thinking It's a Balloon, Has to Get Tested

An eight-year-old kid in Colorado thought he found a balloon on his school’s playground and did what any kid would instinctively do: put it in his mouth to blow up and play with. The child’s newfound treasure ended up being a used condom, probably littered by a couple of careless, horny hoodlums who decided to bone down on the giant slide. Insert an orchestra of barf noises here.


The child’s mother told 7News that her son was being tested for HIV, Hepatitis C, herpes, gonorrhea and chlamydia, and will have to go through repeated testing throughout the year, since some diseases may not show up until months after exposure. This nightmare situation was made worse after the mother received a letter from the Colorado School Districts Self Insurance Pool stating they would not be liable for any damages. I smell a lawsuit a-brewin’. Hopefully the child hasn’t been exposed to any diseases and this will be just be an embarrassing anecdote for him to laugh about when he gets older.

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Feminist Kittenjoy [is back after a long hiatus]

As a hypochondriac with pretty severe OCD, this would be my worst nightmare. I’d have to just throw out the kid and get a whole new one.