Nothing starts one’s morning quite like a missive from a Kardashian that is not only long but includes video evidence. The coffee machine hadn’t even flipped on when Khloé Kardashian’s Instagram thesis statement on her own body came to my attention and, like The Rock in the Fast and Furious franchise, I muttered, “Papa’s gotta get to work.” The work is deciphering the word salad Khloé put together defending her choice to actively work toward removing a photo of herself in a bikini that had been shared widely because it was one of the few photos of any Kardashian sister that depicted her looking regular.
In reality, Khloé doesn’t have to explain why she doesn’t want a bad picture of herself floating around the internet. We’ve all been there and it means more to her because her image dictates her income. But here we are, looking at live video shots of Khloé standing in front of two different mirrors showing it all off to confirm that anyone who saw the picture and thought she was not fit was wrong. Never mind that these images she’s putting out involve a massive amount of her flexing her stomach and leg muscles, which honestly good for her because that length of an isometric hold is exhausting.
On the second page of her statement—yes, this is a multi-page endeavor—Khloé lays the groundwork for why normies should sympathize with her and then adds that she is not asking for sympathy but simply to be acknowledged as a human being. Most human beings have poorly lit goofy photos of themselves on some corner of the internet, but I suppose Khloé does not want to be that kind of human.
Over the next two pages, she outlines the pressure she’s been under by the public to look a certain way and how that has affected her mentally. Khloé also makes that assertion that she didn’t “pay for it all” when it comes to her new bangin’ bod.
This is of course an attempt to deny that she got any plastic surgery, which, if that’s what you want to say then be my guest. But whether Khloé got surgery, or spent every moment of her day in the gym, or had a nutritionist create all her meals, she did in fact pay for the body she has. Gym memberships, equipment, food, flat tummy tea, waist trainers, juice cleanses—they all cost money. Everyone pays for the body they have one way or another, in the same way that everyone works for it. Whether you’re working to recover from a tummy tuck or working to finish a 5K, work is work and money is money. Celebrities! They’re just like us.
Megan Rapinoe has not forgotten the Twitter tirade Draymond Green went on in March wherein the basketball star essentially blamed women athletes and women reporters for not doing enough to make women’s sports more popular and profitable. Green’s tweets were particularly troubling considering the timing. The NCAA tournament was underway and basketball fans witnessed firsthand the disparities between what women were paid for their tournament as opposed to the men.
During a Zoom press conference, Rapinoe commented, “You don’t think we asked for more money? I mean, what are we screaming about? Nonstop!” Rapinoe echoed the opinion of her fiancé, Sue Bird, and added that Green had “tagged the wrong people” when bringing up issues that WNBA players, the USWNT, and reporters who cover women’s sports have been addressing since man discovered fire and woman discovered basketball. “It’s really unfortunate, in the position [Green’s] in, having all of the resources that he has and the ability to have a much more educated opinion, that he just hasn’t.” [ESPN]
- Jameela Jamil wants everyone to know that she’s got an opinion on Khloé Kardashian’s body, too. [Mirror]
- Regé-Jean Page might not get to play the dream role of...Superman’s grandpa? [Vulture]
- Here’s a sentence you never thought you’d read. Paris Hilton and Danielle “Bhad Bhabie” Bregoli are teaming up to help troubled teens. [TMZ]
- The live-action Power Puff Girls are really a thing and there are pictures to prove it. [E News]