Kelly Wearstler Tells Bon Appétit She Doesn't Really Eat Much

Bon Appétit bills itself as “the only food lifestyle publication on the market.” The magazine concerns itself with food; the website offers thousands of recipes; and recent stories include “The Return of the Tater Tot” and “Pasta!” But a new interview with Kelly Wearstler (conducted by Apron Anxiety‘s Alyssa Shelasky) is odd in that the designer admits she does not eat.

How do you start the day?
I go to Barry’s Bootcamp at 5:30 a.m., seven days a week. It’s me and a bunch of Hollywood hot-shots. I’ve heard we burn 800 calories per class.

Sounds intense. Do you hydrate?
KW: I drink water mixed with Miracle Reds or Miracle Greens, with drops of plankton. Later in the day, I drink water with lemon, and alkaline water with cayenne extract.

You must be starving after that workout!
KW: Not for a while. After I drop my sons off at school—they still let me walk them into class—I get a double dry nonfat macchiato at Urth Caffé. And for the rest of the day, I juice.

Yes, folks, although Shelasky tries to engage Wearstler in a conversation about food — since it is, after all, a FOOD MAGAZINE — she declines. Wearstler does go into detail about her juices — she likes kale, spinach, lemon, ginger and avoids orange- and pineapple-based juices (aka anything delicious).

Still, Shelasky persists:

What about real, solid food?
KW: Besides almonds or granola, I don’t eat a lot during the day—juicing is what gives me energy.

Don’t you get it? She is not interested in chewing! How pedestrian. Still, Shelasky tries again:

Do you cook or bake?
KW: I’m not the bake-sale-mom type…

You don’t say.

In the end, though, Wearstler surrenders:

What about for dinner?
KW: That’s the one meal I sit down to enjoy. Simple things like roast chicken and big salads, and beans, lentils, and hummus.