Kelly Rowland Sings About Abusive Relationship, 'Bittersweet' Beyoncé
LatestKelly Rowland just released her newest song and isn’t her being sexy, which she’s been pretty good at lately. No, it’s one of the more emotionally explicit songs about abuse and fame we’ve heard since Mary J. Blige’s classic records.
“Dirty Laundry” takes us back a decade ago. Rowland talks about being happy for Beyoncé’s success as a solo artist “post-Survivor”, but describes having something much heavier weighing her down: an abusive relationship. Because of Beyoncé’s success, Rowland had confusing feelings about the way her own life was going and found it difficult to confide in her long-time friend about what she was going through:
While my sister was on stage/killing it like a mutherfucker/I was enraged/feeling it like a mutherfucker/bird in a cage/you would never know what I was dealing with/went our separate ways/but I was happy she was killing it/Bittersweet/She was up/I was down/normally I feel good for her but what do I do now?
Forget the record/because off the record I was going through some bullshit/post-Survivor/she on fire/who want to hear my bullshit?/Meanwhile this man kept putting his hands on me/Swear y’all don’t know the half of this industry
It sounds like this abusive relationship began when Beyoncé’s first solo album came out, in 2003. Rowland details her attempts, almost a decade later, to pretend everything is fine by hiding her face “behind them black shades” and driving around in fancy cars. She repeatedly sings “Get it together/Can I get it together?” as if she’s talking to herself, and outlines her “sister” Beyoncé (Kelly and Beyoncé grew up together) becoming aware of this relationship and telling her to get out:
Kind of lucky I was in her shadow/Phone call from my sister; ‘What’s the matter?’/She said, ‘Oh no, baby, you gotta leave’/I’m on the kitchen floor/He took the keys/I was mad at everybody/I mean everybody/yeah her her her her, everybody
Rowland describes the isolation that abuse can have on victims, which seems to have weighed even heavier on her, due to the fact that she’s a public figure and her persona is that of someone for whom life is easy. She seems confused about whether to be happy no one knew, or sad: