Kelly Osbourne's Public Urination Incident Is More Iconic Than the Time Her Dad Peed on the Alamo

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

Just 35 years, four months, and eight days after her father took part in an instantly iconic act of public urination, Kelly Osbourne found herself in a similar position. Only instead of relieving herself on a Texas landmark honoring those who died in one of the state’s most famous battles, Kelly just pissed her pants inside a Manhattan Starbucks.


The true story of a drunken Ozzy peeing on the Alamo is far less exciting than its legend, as the stream was directed at a statue near the Alamo, not at the Alamo itself. (A drunk person peeing outside at night is gross, sure, but hardly remarkable.) Kelly’s urinary mishap, however, is just wildly funny, thanks in part to her needless public acknowledgment and misdirected uproar.

Here’s what appears to have happened: After marching in New York City’s Pride parade Sunday afternoon (during which she almost certainly drank several bottles of water to stay hydrated), Kelly Osbourne entered a Starbucks on 6th Avenue and 27th Street with the intention of using their public restroom. After being denied by employees (whom she referred to as “shameful”), Osbourne claims she “#PissedMyOwnPants.” In a tweet commemorating the incident, she reveals that some piss even went in her shoe.

Kelly, I know you meant to publicly shame Starbucks for their behavior and maybe rebrand yourself as an advocate for public restrooms, but you’re entirely in the wrong here. Like so many NYC Starbucks locations, that one doesn’t have a public restroom! And the employees weren’t acting shamefully, they were just doing their jobs—which, by the way, apparently include cleaning up the urine of entitled celebrities who think they can pee wherever they want. Crazy? Maybe. But that’s how it goes.

Starbucks has since commented about the incident. Per Vulture, a representative for the java palace offered Kelly a non-apology as well as a single free beverage, saying:

There simply is no restroom in this store, and inquiring customers are typically directed to a store a few blocks away. We sincerely apologize for any misunderstanding and hope to welcome Ms. Osbourne back for a beverage on us very soon!

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man


Yetta Styles

Why wouldn’t a COFFEE shop not have a goddamn public bathroom? Coffee makes you pee/poop. Do you want people to poop on the floor of your coffee shop?

Also, today I had Dunkin’ Donuts coffee for the first (and last) time ever and it was the most disgusting (okay slight exaggeration) coffee I’ve ever had and it was €3,50 ($3,90?) for a large iced coffee and I’m mad about it.