Star is reporting that vocal supporter of Hillary Clinton and Orlando Bloom’s penis, Katy Perry, has written a few songs for her upcoming album that may or may not shade the hell out of her nemesis, Taylor Swift. “Katy is more than happy to capitalize on Taylor’s damaged image,” Star claims.
Star can reveal that Katy has registered the song titles “Crocodile Tears” and “She’s So Creepy,” as well as “Last Cry” and “Victory.”
Perry’s fourth album, presumably titled I’ve Performed at the Super Bowl and Hillary Clinton’s Presidential Nomination and All You’ve Done Is Sit On Some Ugly Rocks With an Englishman, is expected to drop this fall.
After reading this story last night while in bed and half asleep, I was ready to lead this morning’s Dirt Bag with the headline: “A Warrant Is Out For Tyga’s Arrest Because He Owes His Landlord $480,000,” but after waking up and giving it a second glance, I realized I had completely misread the story.
“There has been a settlement reached to the mutual satisfaction of the parties, the terms of which are confidential,” Danny Abir, attorney for landlord Gholamreza Rezai tells PEOPLE.
“My law partner, Boris Treyzon, will appear in court Friday morning to ask the judge to quash the bench warrant since a settlement has been reached and our client is satisfied,” Abir continues.
So everything is fine! Tyga is not going to be arrested! But also where the hell did he get $480,000—especially after spending $200,000 on Kylie earlier this week?! Hmmmm, I wonder.
Barf. Barf. Barf. Barf. Barf.
- Christie Brinkley’s never called John Mellencamp a redneck, ya dorks! [Us Weekly]
- (Did Christie Brinkley get a better publicist recently?)
- Hugh Jackman understands you, ladies. [E! Online]
- Turtle is engaged. [Us Weekly]
- Rob and Khloe are friends again. [Us Weekly]
- Renee Zellweger is still trending. [Page Six]