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Kate Middleton's "Wedding Dress Workout" Sounds Awful

Illustration for article titled Kate Middletons Wedding Dress Workout Sounds Awful

With "only" five months to go, Kate Middleton is allegedly embarking on some punishing fitness regimen.


First of all, how do they know? This piece in Radar disseminates all kinds of info very authoritatively — like that the "size-2 Brit" is 5'10" and 120 pounds — in this "exclusive." Among other things, we learn that Kate:

  • Is "back on the rower, burning up to 500 calories an hour and shaping those all important back and arm muscles."
  • Has "upped her daily hour-long gym workouts, which include cycling, jogging and light weights"
  • Will "make the most of the snow, squeezing in at least one skiing trip abroad before April 29. With a whole day skiing burning up a whopping 2000 calories, it is the ultimate workout."
  • Is "an avid follower of the high-protein Dukan Diet," which involves protein-only days and is big in France.
  • Will "have to cut back on her favorite cocktail, the 'crack baby', a fresh passion fruit mix with vodka and champagne."

If the world's going to scrutinize Kate Middleton (and I guess we are!), let's focus on the positive fact that she's always seemed to exercise out of love of sports and achievements like rowing the English Channel — and we can always use more women who are active for the love of it in the public eye. And as these celeb regimens go, this one at least seems to involve less weirdness than some. But at the same time, this woman's going to be subject to a level of wedding-day scrutiny that's literally unparalleled: no one — but no one — should be comparing themselves to her. Or, for that matter, begrudging her a cocktail (although can we please motion to get it a new name, stat?)

Kate Middleton's Wedding Dress Workout Revealed [Radar]

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A Small Turnip

Please god make the comparative weight-and-height statistics stop. Or if you must insist on doing it, please form your answers in appropriate measures, such as: I weigh 9 corgis and am 128 koh-i-noors tall. Thank you.