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Kate Middleton and Jane Austen Are Related

Illustration for article titled Kate Middleton and Jane Austen Are Related has discovered that Kate Middleton, Duchess Of Cambridge, aka Princess Shinylocks™ and Jane Austen are are eleventh cousins, six times removed. You're thinking: Um, isn't everyone in the English upper crust related? That's just sense and sensibility! Yeah, but lead historian Anastasia Harman is psyched: "Finding this connection between the Duchess of Cambridge and Jane Austen is very exciting since, in many ways, Catherine is the modern Jane Austen heroine: a middle-class girl marrying the future King of England." [People]

Illustration for article titled Kate Middleton and Jane Austen Are Related

In other royals news, Prince Harry is allegedly secretly dating a lingerie and swimwear model named Florence Brudenell-Bruce. Florence, who has a history of art degree from Bristol University, is "a lot of fun, blonde and very good-looking," which seems to be Harry's type. As you can see at the link, she has a button nose not unlike Chelsy Davy's. [Daily Mail]

Illustration for article titled Kate Middleton and Jane Austen Are Related

Apparently Jennifer Lopez might be "too busy" to appear on American Idol next season. In an interview with BBC radio, La Lopez said: "I haven't been forced to make a decision [about returning to the show] and I'm glad about that. I loved it, but I have a lot of other things happening and it's going to come down to me making a choice of what I want to do for the next year." She might actually have a lot of stuff happening, but she might also be an expert negotiator. Threatening to leave is a pretty classic strategy in getting folks to offer you more money. [OMG!]
BTW: Steven Tyler — considered by many to be the true star of the show right now — has already signed on for season 11. [Pop Eater]

Illustration for article titled Kate Middleton and Jane Austen Are Related

Shia LaBeouf is on a roll. After spilling the beans about hooking up with Megan Fox while she was with David Silver, he says: "Am I an asshole for being honest? Or am I an asshole for being dishonest, smiling in your picture and I fucking hate being there? Which one is worse? These are the questions I ask myself that George Clooney doesn't ask." [Contact Music via Details]
Shia LaBeouf also says that one time he went out for sushi with Hilary Duff, it was "Probably the worst date either of us has ever had." [Contact Music]

Illustration for article titled Kate Middleton and Jane Austen Are Related

Madonna is still trying to help the people of Malawi. She says: "My short term goals are to build an orphan care centre that will service and reach at least 1,000 children and I'm also actively involved in funding several orphanages that already exist." And: "There is a real education crisis in Malawi, 67 per cent of girls don't go to secondary school. Our team is going to work hard to address this in every way we can." [Contact Music]

Illustration for article titled Kate Middleton and Jane Austen Are Related

Elizabeth Taylor's collection of jewelry, art, clothing and memorabilia will go on an international tour before it is auctioned in New York in December, stopping in Moscow, London, Dubai, Geneva, Paris, Hong Kong and Los Angeles. You can also get in on the fun by going to restaurants and tossing your earrings on the table while purring, "These have always brought me luck." [OMG via AP]

Illustration for article titled Kate Middleton and Jane Austen Are Related

You guys, my pretend boyfriend Bruno Mars is hotter than the hinges of hell in L'Uomo Vogue. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

  • Heidi Klum cannot get enough of Seal. "He's even hot when he's sleeping," she tells Glamour. "He's a beautiful man. He's kind, he's a gentleman, and I watched him last night onstage, and he still rocks it. I'm like, ‘Yeah, that's my man!'" She also says: "There's nothing wrong with a nice garter belt… I'm not saying you have to put up a pole in your bedroom and start swinging off the rafters. But I love that sometimes!" [Fox 411]
  • Wow, America Ferrera's wedding dress is pretty fabulous! [People]
  • Presented without comment: "Kate Moss has hired a team of transvestites to chaperone guests at her wedding to The Kills rocker Jamie Hince on Friday." [Contact Music]
  • Breaking: Martin Short will join the cast of How I Met Your Mother. [NY Post]
  • Patti LaBelle's lawsuit and countersuit involve a West Point cadet, racial slurs and an alleged bodyguard attack. [AP]
  • Whitney Houston is extending her stay in rehab. Her daughter, Bobbi Kristina, has completed her treatment. [Perez]
  • Rick Ross is being sued for $15,000 after his pit bull allegedly escaped and killed a tiny Yorkie named Banks. [TMZ]
  • In keeping with tradition, Alicia Keys' wax figure does not resemble Alicia Keys. [People]
  • Alicia Keys is producing a Broadway play called Stick Fly, "a comedy about an affluent black family who come together for a weekend on the posh island of Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts." She explains: "I'm passionate about this play because it is so beautifully written and portrays Black America in a way that we don't often get to see in entertainment. I know it will touch all audiences, who will find a piece of themselves somewhere inside this house." [Reuters]
  • Remember when Fantasia was dumped by her boyfriend Antuan Cook, who has a wife and kids? And then Fantasia attempted suicide? Well. Here she is on vacation with Cook in Barbados. And the writer of the post questions whether "Fanny" is "preggers." [The YBF]
  • Bjork's new project, Biophilia, is not just songs, but iPad apps that will let listeners remix the tracks using sounds from nature or something. At the link, she describes her love of David Attenborough and her connection to the natural world. [Another Mag]
  • 28-year-old Lil Wayne is planning to retire. [Contact Music]
  • Young adult novel The Giver, by Lois Lowry, might become a movie produced by and starring Jeff Bridges. Anyone read this? Sounds good. [ONTD]
  • Intern Ramona sums up this Kings Of Leon item thusly: "I could give this money away, but you know what would be cool? If I didn't." [Contact Music]
  • "Let's just say that I was enhancing my performance a little bit. It was the only time I ever did steroids. I did them for like six or eight weeks. You can print this, I don't give a fuck. My fastball went from 79 (miles-per-hour) to like 85." — Charlie Sheen on filming Major League. [Contact Music]
  • "I don't see Sex and the City 3 happening. I'm not disappointed if they don't. I miss the early days before it became sort of a circus of attention, when it hadn't become this iconic thing. It was really good writing and entertainment, and then it became something else that I still don't really get." — Chris Noth. [Contact Music]

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Kat Callahan

Kate Middleton is not middle class. She started there, but as I understand it, her family now owns a Party Supply Empire.

Also, if I am related to Jane Austen, and Kate Middleton is related to Jane Austen, does that mean I am related to Kate Middleton?

...and more importantly, how can I use that to my advantage?