Illustration for article titled Karl Rove Helpfully Diagnoses Hillary Clinton With Brain Damage

Political operative and meat snowman Karl Rove has a potentially devastating medical diagnosis for Hillary Clinton: she's got brain damage. How does he know this? Same way Karl Rove establishes that anything is true: by first pulling it squirming from his ass, and then repeating it over and over again until people believe him.


Karl Rove, who is not a doctor, made his diagnosis at a convention outside of Los Angeles that Hillary Clinton did not attend. Here's the New York Post on that,

He said if Clinton runs for president, voters must be told what happened when she suffered a fall in December 2012.

The official diagnosis was a blood clot. Rove told the conference near LA Thursday, "Thirty days in the hospital? And when she reappears, she's wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury? We need to know what's up with that."

Rove repeated the claim a number of times to the audience. Clinton's rep said, "Please assure Dr. Rove she's 100 percent."


According to the Post, he repeated his dumb "Hillary has brain damage" claim several times.

A few problems with this:

First, Hillary Clinton spent four days in the hospital, not thirty. Second, the glasses she was wearing after her hospital stay were to correct double vision that resulted from her fall, not to correct "brain damage." There is no such thing as glasses that fix brain damage. That's some Harry Potter Futuristic Will Smith Blockbuster Shit. Third, Karl Rove is not a doctor. He's a professional liar with an agenda.

And, quite possibly, serious brain damage that, as someone who is not Karl Rove's doctor, only I can diagnose.

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