Kanye West went on Ellen to premiere his new music video, and oh my god it's indescribably beautiful. It sort of looks like what would happen if you mixed the horse equivalent of that ironic howling wolf t-shirt with the Yosemite background on the MacBook PhotoBooth app, in a conceptual fashion manner.
A lot of the video centers around Kim Kardashian looking sensual while perching topless on a motorcycle. There are two stars of this short film: the first is Kim's hair, and the second is Kimye's love for themselves/one another. All in all, A+++. [Ellen]
The New York Magazine profile of Taylor Swift has bequeathed upon us many gifts, one of which was an insider look at how T-Swift's ex-bfs have responded to having their doomed romances turned into pop hits. Taylor says she's "heard from the guy that most of Red is about" (i.e., Jake Gyllenhaal):
"He was like, 'I just listened to the album, and that was a really bittersweet experience for me. It was like going through a photo album.' That was nice," an impressed Swift recalls. "Nicer than, like, the ranting, crazy e-mails I got from this one dude."
JOHN MAYER! JOHN MAYER DID THE RANT! WE ALL KNOW IT.
Anyway, she goes on to say that her dates should expect to be written about, because that's her job, and she then drops this beautiful gem: "Did you not Wikipedia me before you called me up?" Excuse me? "Oh, I asked this girl out... Taylor Swift? I think it rings a bell... let me access an internet encyclopedia...oh, THAT'S why she seems familiar. Because she's one of the most famous people in the world. Oh, okay. Whoa, I should be careful; she might write a song about me." [Vulture]
Nene Leakes of RHOA was hospitalized for something indeterminate; she Tweeted a picture of herself with several IVs in her arms and added that she was "blessed to be alive." Our only other clue to her state is that she retweeted a fan who conjectured that she's been hospitalized for exhaustion. Here's hoping she feels better soon! [Radar]
Drake went on a date with Zoe Kravitz; according to sources, Kravitz was "full of smiles" because WHO WOULDN'T BE; DRAKE IS TAKING YOU OUT TO DINNER; ONE'S BODY WOULD FILL COMPLETELY WITH SMILES. Sources also say he waited for her outside the bathroom, which is a kinda weird chivalry thing I've never heard of before. [Necole Bitchie]
- Teresa Giudice and Joe Giudice of RHONJ have been hit with more fraud charges. More like The DEFRAUDING Housewives of New Jersey!!! (I have never seen this show and have no idea what's going on.) [Bossip]
- Rita Ora collapsed on set from exhaustion and dehydration, but she's all better now. [Bossip]
- Eminem joked that the only way he could outdo Kanye West's BBC radio interview (you know, leather jogging pants-gate) was by peeing on the floor. He then jested that he was in the act of peeing on the floor. Last night when I read this story I accidentally pressed the "Tweet" button and tweeted "Eminem tries to outdo Kanye by peeing on the floor" with the auto-generated comment "good read." It was the most shameful thing I've ever done. [MTV]
- Here's a video of Victoria's Secret secrets, but I was too lazy to watch it. Do they do animal sacrifices? Will someone let me know? [Page Six]
- Supermodel Cara Delevingne says she's most self-conscious about her body ("I'd like to be curvier") because we live in a world in which everyone is encouraged to feel bad about their weight, I guess? [ONTD]
- Kristen Stewart got a tattoo and everyone thought it was fake but it looks like it's not. I have no idea what it is. It kind of looks like a cross between a turtle and a hamburger. [ONTD]
- There's a chance Robert Pattinson knows, however. [Perez Hilton]
- Seventeen literally asked the members of One Direction who has the best torso — THE BEST TORSO — and Niall, my fiancee, shhhh omg we're keeping it quiet, said that Liam does. Also, Zayn said that he can't live without lotion, citing as evidence, "You have to stay smooth." Huh. Okay. [ONTD]
- Orlando Bloom saved his fans... from falling over because they were so excited to see him??? Whatever, he is a hero. Unmentioned in this article was the fact that he helped save Gondor from like a billion orcs. [Perez Hilton]
- Okay, I'm sorry, but it's gross that Kate Middleton is called "thrifty" for not burning her clothing after one-time use. [Hello]
- This is the dumbest, most bizarre non-sequitur gossip story I've seen in many a year: "Robert Pattinson's Girlfriend Dylan Penn Pictured In High School, As Pals Reveal Fears He Could Break Her Heart." WHAT? [Radar]