Justin Bieber Says He's 'Not a Robot,' But Should We Believe Him?

During the Glasgow leg of his Purpose tour on Saturday night, Justin Bieber addressed a widely held theory that’s been consuming many of us ever since he released his beautiful single “Baby” years ago—the theory that he may in fact be a robot.

He is not a robot. Or so he says... Here’s where this idea of Bieber being a robot came from, though. This Western world we live in is separated into two types of beings: humans and robots. Scientists released a bunch of robots into civilization at one point in time, for research and other things. But as it turns out, these robots are increasingly becoming sentient to the point that it’s hard to distinguish between them and humans. There’s even a possibility that the robots might revolt. So who’s robot? Who’s human?

There’s no need to be ashamed for believing this theory that Bieber is a robot. It would certainly be a huge twist if someone we thought was human was actually a robot. Or if, to take it further, this robot Bieber is possibly living in a totally different timeline than we are! Confused? Well, I’m sorry. At any rate, Bieber used his speech on stage to attempt to dispel the robot myth. But he says a bunch of other words before getting to that important point. Let’s examine.


Bieber starts out telling the crowd:

“So as you guys know...As you guys know, this is called the Purpose Tour. And the reason I named it the Purpose tour is that I simply wanted to remind everybody that everybody has a purpose.”

Good point, and a good agenda (a good purpose!).

“No matter how old you are, no matter how young you are. And when you start saying things in life that matter, especially on a large scale, people tend to want to shut you down.


This is the first robot clue embedded in his speech. He continues:

“What I mean by that is, people try to twist things. Some people don’t want to listen. [Clears throat].


(A malfunction...?)

“But I simply feel like... If I wasn’t... If I didn’t use this platform to see what I truly feel. And if I didn’t use this platform to be the man that I know that I am, and speak from what’s in my heart, then I’m doing myself an injustice and I’m doing everybody in this audience an injustice.”


An InJUSTIN. Ask yourselves: Why did Bieber say “the man that I know that I am.” The man that he “knows” he is? He means robot.

“So there’s gonna be times...There’s gonna be times where I say the wrong thing. ’Cause I’m human and I don’t pretend to be perfect. And I hope to God that I don’t say the right thing all the time ’cause if that was the case, then I’d be a robot.”


Once again, Bieber tries to reiterate that he’s human. But look at that last statement, which is clearly said as a wink before he goes on to lie to us:

“And I’m just, I’m not a robot.”

Which is exactly what a robot would say... Bieber continues:

“And there’s gonna be times when I get upset. There’s times when I’m gonna be angry. There’s times when I’m gonna be frustrated, but I’m always gonna be myself on this stage. Always.”


Always gonna be “yourself.” Right.

“And so when people try to twist things and say hey Justin, Justin’s angry at his fans and doesn’t want his fans to scream, that’s not...that’s not at all what I was doing. All I was simply doing was wanting people to listen and kind of hear me out a little bit and certain people, certain cities, aren’t gonna wanna hear it. And sometimes it’s my job, to just okay I catch a vibe and I’m not gonna try to force something.”


Your job as.... a robot? Justin finished by thanking the crowd:

“But I just appreciate you guys tonight listening to me and understanding and rocking with me. You guys are truly amazing. And I couldn’t do it without you. So this last song is called ‘Purpose.’ And I’m so lucky to be able to share this purpose with you. Thank you.”


Sounds like a robot who doth protest too much.

Culture Editor, Jezebel

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Some men peak in the handsome stakes in their teens, some in their 20s, some 30s, some decades later.

Justin is going to be an ugly 30 year old. I think we all realise this now. It’s a hard thing for a boy to take.