Justin Bieber Made An Insane Short Film To Sell Perfume Or Something

Just as Krzysztof Kieślowski had his "Decalogue," so too does Justin Bieber have his cinematic masterworks.

The message here, in this most Herzogian of The Bieber Works thus far, is that Justin has a key. It is a key to your room that Justin will use when you are sleeping and that is not creepy at all. It is also a metaphoric key to your heart. Your heart is also a bottle of shitty perfume you can buy at Macy's for $60. Wait—SIXTY FUCKING DOLLARS? Are you high, Macy's? $60. Sixty actual dollars. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ's toenails, Macy's.


If you still can get enough Bieber from this 3:35 minute video, don't forget, you can also watch the trailer for his new film "Believe," which hits theaters Dec. 25. Again, the title of that film is "Believe," shortened from the original title "Believe You Can Sell Crappy Perfume To Teenage Girls At Any Price You Want."

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a) why are these girls spraying perfume right before their mid-afternoon naps?

b) why is he coming into everyone's rooms while they're sleeping? Is he a gigolo for teenage girls? Is this some sort of reverse brothel where one man services all the women in a building?

c) why are these the most boring fantasies ever? If I'm dreaming of my favorite pop-star coming into my room while i'm asleep he wouldn't be sitting there juggling macaroons (if ya know what i'm sayin)

d) who can I talk to to get that 3:35 of my life back? Is there a receipt I can take to Macys?